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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23462560">Oh, Ye Of Little Faith</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/youvebeenscuppered/pseuds/youvebeenscuppered'>youvebeenscuppered</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Buzzfeed offices, Friends to Lovers, I’m bad at tags, M/M, Ryan Bergara &amp; Shane Madej - Freeform, Ryan Bergara is a Tease, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej - Freeform, Ryan Wears a Dress, Ryan gets too swole, Ryan is swole, Shane speaks like two words of Polish, There’s a box that Shane’s not allowed to open, They Dance Together, Tiny bit of Angst, ass eating, banter with the boys, but not really, handjobs, mentions of death (historical), shane tops (sort of), they have a race?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:02:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,484</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23462560</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/youvebeenscuppered/pseuds/youvebeenscuppered</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shane’s got a problem. A Ryan-shaped problem. A Ryan-shaped problem that is standing directly in front of him, laughing its ass off. It’s gonna be a long night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara &amp; Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>488</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay look, I don’t really know why I wrote this. It’s a lot of words about Shane and Ryan just having a jolly old time and banging somewhere along the way.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This entire story is unbeta’d, because I have no idea how I’d even go about doing that, but hey, I’m half-decent at spelling so hopefully it’s alright.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“God, just - would you - let me - Shane, fuck off!”</p><p>Shane could, technically, see that Ryan was straining to get past him in the narrow hallway that led to their office. He could also, theoretically, understand that Ryan was carrying a very heavy-looking box that was, hypothetically, about to split at the seams. Really, Shane felt for the guy. Tough time, that scenario. </p><p>Incidentally, Shane knew that he was also the obstacle blocking what should have been a peaceful amble down the hallway of a Monday morning, but Shane lived for the discomfort of one Ryan Steven Bergara, and so stood as if rooted to the spot, being continually jostled by the cardboard that Ryan was shoving into his shoulder in his attempt to get by.</p><p>“You are so, ugh, so annoying”, Ryan huffed, glaring over the lip of the box.</p><p>“Oh I’m sorry, am I in the way? It was kinda hard to hear you from all the way down there.” Shane levelled a grin down at Ryan’s sweaty face.</p><p>“Fuck you.” Ryan muttered, finally shoving past him. “There is no reason to have that much limb, like some sorta fucked up tree that stands in the hallway and <em>does nothing useful</em>.”</p><p>“How unchivalrous, sir!” Shane offered to Ryan’s retreating back. He was answered by the click of the office door shutting, with Ryan behind it. </p><p>“Now that was just plain rude,” he announced, strolling into the office and throwing a pen at Ryan’s head.</p><p>“You just like to watch me get out of breath, you asshole.” Ryan countered, batting the pen out of the air. It landed somewhere near the creepy mannequin that Ryan insisted “really added to the atmosphere of the show”. </p><p>Flopping into a chair, Shane folded his arms behind his head. “What’s in the box, then? It better not be a decapitated head and you’ve been Kevin Spacey this whole time.”</p><p>Ryan snorted. “Wouldn’t that be a twist? But no, no Gwyneth Paltrow body parts.” </p><p>Shane paused, hoping for some elaboration. When none was forthcoming, he sat up. </p><p>“Do I have to guess?” </p><p>Ryan looked at him, the kind of glint in his eye that made Shane marginally regret the whole small-hall-big-box-angry-Ryan debacle. “I think it’ll be pretty self-evident when you see what it is.”</p><p>Shane had the feeling he’d missed a trick. </p><p>“If it’s a gimp suit, it’s gonna have to be a hard no from me, pal. Not on the ole bucket list, that one. At least, not on camera. And not me wearing it.”</p><p>Ryan seemed momentarily taken aback before he levelled a glare at Shane.</p><p>“I’m not letting you act like you have the upper hand in this situation. You know you want to know what’s in this box.” </p><p>Shane shook his head, smiling. </p><p>“You got me. Go on then, what’s in the box?”</p><p>Ryan gave a toothy smile. </p><p>“Do it in the Pitt voice.”</p><p>Shane huffed out a breath of laughter, before standing up and spreading his arms wide, giving his best Brad-Pitt-as-an-arrogant-yet-sexy-cop.</p><p>“What’s in the box?!” </p><p>Ryan laughed, delighted. </p><p>“That was pretty good, actually. You’re still not allowed to know, though.” </p><p>Shane let out an indignant breath, gesturing. </p><p>“Why? What was the impression for, then? I did my best young Brad Pitt next to Morgan Freeman for you dude, don’t act like you aren’t impressed.”</p><p>Ryan snickered. “That was just for my entertainment.”</p><p>“You’re a sick man, Bergara.” Shane said, primly sitting back down in his seat and turning his back. He heard the sounds of Ryan fighting a roll of tape with his short fingernails before the box was - noisily - sealed. </p><p>Shane turned back around, his curiosity getting the better of his protestful back turning. </p><p>“I’m really not allowed to know?” </p><p>“Nope.” Ryan answered, writing the words “KEEP OUT” and “TOP SECRET” on the top of the box. </p><p>“Doesn’t that seem a little excessive?” Shane pointed out, to which Ryan wrote “FUCK OFF SHANE”. </p><p>“Point taken.” Shane muttered, turning to grab his laptop as Ryan manhandled the box under his end of the desk. </p><p>~~~~</p><p>“Wanna grab lunch?” Shane offered a few hours later, to which Ryan shook his head. </p><p>“Gotta keep the old girl safe.” </p><p>“Since when did the box become an ‘old girl’? Since when did you need to guard it with your life and lunch hour?” </p><p>Ryan ignored him in favour of editing a new video, and swept his foot to rest against the side of the box under the desk. </p><p>“You suck.” Shane muttered, petulant, as he wandered out to get lunch by himself for the first time in months.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>Shane felt vaguely offended that Ryan didn’t trust him enough to leave the box alone with him, but he also understood that he had no track record for being trustworthy about not opening things he was told not to open. Feeling kinda bad that Ryan was stuck at his desk, he brought him back a sandwich. He stole the bacon out of it though, in spite. He didn’t feel that bad.</p><p>“Alright, consider my jimmies officially rustled.” Shane said, when Ryan was halfway through a bite of his BLT. Minus the B. An LT. Whatever.</p><p>When Ryan only raised a questioning eyebrow, Shane gestured at the box resting next to Ryan’s impeccable and probably ridiculously expensive sneakers.</p><p>“I told you dude, you’re not allowed to know. You’re not part of the box club.” </p><p>“And who is?” </p><p>“Me, Devon, TJ. But don’t bother asking them, they’re sworn to secrecy.” </p><p>Shane sighed, his eyes fixed on the box. </p><p>“So it’s to do with the show? What on earth is in there that means you want to hide it from me? It looks heavy.” </p><p>“I’m not gonna give you clues just because you keep asking, Shane.” </p><p>Shane narrowed his eyes. “Is this because I blocked you in the hallway?” </p><p>“Even though that was a sign of epic douchebaggery on your part, no. This plan has been in motion for a while, and the cogs are turning, baby.” </p><p>Shane rolled his eyes. “Calm the theatrics, Dr Robotnik.”</p><p>“No need to get even douchier just because you’re not in the box club.”</p><p>Shane flipped him the bird, which would have been great if Ryan didn’t seem all the more delighted for it.</p><p>~~~~</p><p>It plagued him. </p><p>It sat under the desk, occasionally scraped by Ryan’s shoe, and mocked him. It made Shane incapable of focusing for more than a few minutes at a time. It was a goddamn thirst trap for ADHD, is what it was.</p><p>Shane yanked off his headphones.</p><p>“Okay, I cant take it anymore. I know you’re not gonna tell me what’s in the box, but could you at least tell me when I’ll find out?”</p><p>Ryan grinned. “Are you really that bothered by it?” </p><p>Shane nodded emphatically, wheeling his chair closer to Ryan.</p><p>“C’mon Ryan, I’m dying here. Help a man out.”</p><p>Ryan looked at Shane’s face speculatively, as if evaluating. It went on for a long time. Shane stared back, warning himself that now was not the time to get distracted by stupidly good jaw lines and kind eyes. The room felt a little heavy.</p><p>“You really can’t take it?” Ryan asked softly, leaning in towards Shane, their knees knocking together.</p><p>Shane swallowed, wondering where all the moisture in his mouth had suddenly evacuated to.</p><p>“I can’t.”</p><p>Ryan nodded gently, before leaning down to the box under the desk. Shane tried desperately to not pay attention to the gap of skin that Ryan’s shirt, pulled tight, exposed on his lower back. </p><p>Shane heard the sound of tape tearing a little. </p><p>“You really wanna know what’s in this box?” Ryan asked, his head turned to Shane over his shoulder in a position that looked... almost coy. Flirty. “<em>Dangerous</em>”, Shane’s brain supplied.</p><p>“Yeah.” Shane breathed, quiet. </p><p>Ryan nodded, and turned back to the box. </p><p>“Close your eyes. And no peeking.”</p><p>Shane huffed out a breath, covering his eyes with his hand and slouching back in his chair. </p><p>Ryan’s voice sounded a lot closer than it was before when he said, “If I find out you’re peeking, I’ll blindfold you.” </p><p>Shane cleared his throat. Some kind of emotion was twisting in on itself in his stomach. He wasn’t sure he liked the implications.</p><p>“No need for blindfolds here, captain.” </p><p>Ryan chuckled. “Good.” </p><p>There was the sound of more tape tearing, and Shane shifted in anticipation. Rustling. Lots of rustling. Shane bit his lip.</p><p>“You ready?” Ryan asked.</p><p>“Yeah.” Shane replied, his voice coming out lower and more gravelly than he had meant it to. </p><p>“Open your eyes.” Said Ryan, softly. Shane did. </p><p>Ryan was sitting opposite him with jack shit in his hands, the box still under the table and resealed with more tape, and his right hand extended in front of him to give Shane a truly devastating middle finger.</p><p>“Oh, you asshole!” Shane spluttered, attempting to slap Ryan’s middle finger out of his face. Ryan had better reflexes, catching Shane’s wrist mid-air.</p><p>“You really thought I’d crack that easy?” Ryan asked, the most disgustingly self-satisfied smirk playing on his face that Shane wanted to slap out of him. Or kiss off of him. Whatever.</p><p>Ryan still had not let go of Shane’s wrist. Shane stared, and coughed.</p><p>“This is just cruel.” He muttered, trying to pull his wrist back. Ryan held on, laughing, until Shane gave up.</p><p>Shane was ready to deliver some biting insults to Ryan’s stupid, smug face, but before he could start Ryan let go of his wrist and put one of his stupid, nice sneakers up onto Shane’s chair, right between his thighs, and shoved him. He, and his chair, went wheeling across the room. </p><p>“I hate you so much right now.” Shane glared from his position from the other side of the room. He primly bent down to pick up the unfortunate pen that landed over there earlier. When he looked back, Ryan’s headphones were back on, and he was grinning at his screen whilst he continued editing. </p><p>“Fuck you.” Shane muttered, wheeling himself gracelessly back to the desk and picking up his headphones. </p><p>~~~~</p><p>It went on for days. </p><p>They did shoots, various videos, edited, wrote scripts, and all the time the box stayed under the desk. </p><p>It was getting to the point where Shane itched to open it, considering multiple times a day if he could be quick enough to dive under the desk, tear off the tape and get a peek before Ryan could stop him. It was unhealthy, is what is was. Shane was considering appealing to HR.</p><p>It wasn’t just the box, too. It was the implications of the box. The rules that the box entailed. Like Ryan not coming to get lunch because he had to guard the box, or not leaving the office after work until Shane had left, and getting in early to be the first one in the office. Shane theorised that Ryan must only have bathroom breaks when Shane was out for lunch, the obsessive freak.</p><p>And the worst part, the most humiliating and irritating part of it all, was how much Shane wanted to know. How much he resented not knowing. How much it affected him to sit with a box that he wasn’t allowed to open, knowing the only thing stopping him was a short man with big biceps.</p><p>It was tearing him apart, truly. He’d already theorised what could be in the box, from the totally mundane to the wildly improbable.</p><p>It was getting out of hand.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>Shane was in the main floor kitchen on Thursday getting coffee when it happened. He turned around, cup in hand, to see Ryan staring at him from the opposite side of the kitchen. Shane almost didn’t think anything of it, and nearly turned back around before he clocked the expression on Ryan’s face.</p><p>It was stricken with an intense kind of emotion, what Shane could only think of as some kind of realisation. Fear? Was it fear? It confused him, because what did Ryan Bergara have to be afraid of here? There were no ghosts in the Buzzfeed kitchens (not like there were any elsewhere either).</p><p>It wasn’t until Ryan’s eyes flickered to the kitchen doorway that Shane got it.</p><p>“I thought you’d gone to get lunch.” Ryan said, setting his shoulders back. </p><p>
  <em>Unattended box.</em>
</p><p>Slowly, carefully, Shane put his coffee back on the counter.</p><p>“No, not yet, just, uh, getting some coffee.”</p><p>Shane took a step towards the kitchen door. Ryan, who was further away from it, took a step towards him. </p><p>“You should really think this through, Shane.” Ryan warned, taking another step.</p><p>Shane knew that when it came to physical activity, Ryan could hand him his ass seven times over. He also knew that he had longer legs, and though Ryan was fitter, the sprint to their office wasn’t that far. It was across the main floor, up one flight of stairs, down the thin corridor and then Shane would be with the box, without Ryan protecting it, for at least a few seconds. Enough time. </p><p>Ryan shifted on his feet, looking at Shane’s tensed shoulders. </p><p>“You sure you wanna do this, big guy?” </p><p>The glint in his eye was predatory, and so out of character for Ryan. Intense, focussed, and clearly a challenge, Shane really couldn’t say no. Not to a challenge like that.</p><p>Shane took off sprinting, his long legs taking him far from Ryan in the first few steps as he thundered across the main floor. Shane knew he was startling the good interns of Buzzfeed, but that mattered less than the instinct to run as fast as his gangly legs would take him to the stairwell.</p><p>Ryan’s steps were much quicker than his, he could hear him gaining ground fast and Shane wondered what a picture they looked, a small buff angry man chasing a six foot four bundle of noodley limbs through the main offices of Buzzfeed at top speed, both of them wearing merch that read “Hey demons, it’s me, ya boi.”</p><p>Regardless, he didn’t dwell on the many faces of confusion and judgement flying past him as he sprinted past the desks, his lungs already beginning to burn. He threw his shoulder into the stairwell door, knocking it open with so much force that it made a loud crack as it banged into the wall. </p><p>Shane went flying up the stairs, taking them three at a time, but his stamina was beginning to flag and he could hear Ryan pelting up the stairs behind him. He made it to the door, throwing it open and running into the foyer space, taking a sharp left into their long, narrow corridor.</p><p>“This is ridiculous”, he thought, lungs heaving as he ran into their hallway. He could see the door, could envision himself getting through it and diving under the desk, ripping the tape off and finally, finally knowing what was in that goddamn box.</p><p>He didn’t make it more than three steps.</p><p>A solid weight slapped him straight in the back, between the shoulder blades, and Shane had the amusing thought as he went careening towards the carpet that Ryan Bergara had thrown his entire body, at full speed, at Shane’s back.</p><p>He didn’t even get a chance to laugh before he hit the ground, catching himself on his hands before Ryan grabbed both of his wrists and pulled them out above his head. Shane had sprawled on his front, and hadn’t even caught his breath before Ryan had seated himself comfortably on his body, straddling his ass and upper thighs. </p><p>He barely seemed out of breath as Shane wheezed beneath him, half of the air knocked out of his lungs. </p><p>“You - you <em>asshole</em>.” Shane spat out, unable to hide the grin in his voice, although Ryan couldn’t see his face. </p><p>“You shouldn’t have taken a challenge you couldn’t win, big guy.” Ryan said, sounding overwhelmingly pleased with himself. </p><p>
  <em>Fucker.</em>
</p><p>It was at that moment that the intimacy of their position truly hit Shane, with Ryan straddling his derriere and holding both hands above his head. Intimate was one word for it, Shane supposed. Lurid was another. Risqué. Inappropriate for the workplace, some might say. Kind of exciting. Whatever.</p><p>Shane couldn’t help but distinctly feel that their positions should be reversed.</p><p>Ryan had grown quiet by the time Shane’s breathing calmed down, which took an embarrassingly long time. </p><p>Now, Shane realised, they were just kinda lying on top of each other in a hallway. At work. Might be a little tough to explain, that one.</p><p>“You’re gonna stay down here when I get up, alright?” Ryan said. His voice was quiet, but Shane could hear him just fine and dandy, considering Ryan’s mouth was somehow two inches from his ear. When that had happened, Shane couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was difficult to think with all the blood in his body screeching to a halt and doing an about-face to his dick. </p><p><em>“Really not the time,” </em>he thought, wondering if it was possible to force inappropriate and incredibly poorly timed boners away by sheer will alone.</p><p>There was a tug on his wrists that Shane vaguely realised were still in Ryan’s grasp. </p><p>Shane drew in a breath, nodding faster than he meant to, knocking his chin on the carpet, adding a shaky “Yeah, yeah I’ll stay here,”. He swallowed. The movement of his throat felt dry.</p><p>Ryan waited a beat, and the pressure on Shane’s wrists increased slightly - like Ryan was squeezing - before it was gone. The weight that had been resting on his ass and making him think of salacious things disappeared, and Ryan stepped over his head, walking primly into their office and shutting the door.</p><p>Shane considered staying there briefly, forcing Ryan to come out and get him, but Ryan was stubborn and it could take a while and it would be difficult in the meantime to explain to his coworkers why he was sprawled ass-up on the carpet outside his office.</p><p>Gathering his pride, Shane stood up. There was a slight ache in his back from where Ryan had collided with him. </p><p>“Should have braced for impact.” Shane muttered, trying to smooth his clothing into something that didn’t scream ‘my coworker and I just chased each other through our place of employment and I got a boner from him pinning me to the ground’.</p><p>Here’s the thing. Shane wasn’t stupid. He knew his crush on Ryan was developing and developing fast, but he had honestly thought it would go away by now. Every other crush he’d had on coworkers had been fleeting at best, and yet this one? This one was sticking. It was particularly unfortunate, considering Shane spent pretty much every working day and a lot of the weekend with the guy. And their careers depended on them maintaining a good friendship, both for the public eye and ease of work. Shane realised it was well and truly edging into Not Good Territory, but he didn’t know how to stop it. He spent so much time looking at Ryan’s stupid face, making dumb jokes to make Ryan laugh, pulling him into dark scary rooms and grinning as his imagination, bolstered by the wind and his unwavering belief, overwhelmed him. The sceptic and the believer. The calm and the fearful. The lover and the fighter.</p><p>Shane knew they made a good team. He knew their friendship was the root of a great show, a great career, a great life. He knew he’d be lost without it, which is exactly why he kept his mouth shut about his inopportune feelings. Whenever Ryan clutched his hand in some abandoned house his imagination filled with ghosts, Shane kept his mouth shut. Whenever Ryan laughed, bracing himself on Shane’s shoulder in the sound booth, pressed right up against his body, Shane kept his mouth shut. And when Ryan pinned him to the floor of their office corridor, stretched his arms out above him and told him to <em>stay put</em> in that quiet, victorious voice, Shane had kept his mouth shut.</p><p>Shane could feel it, though. All the words, bubbling in his chest, his stupid hopeful heart aching to just say it, to say <em>“Please let us be together, please let me date you, it’ll be so good if you only give it a chance, I love you, please”</em>. </p><p>Words that were best left buried, until Shane could give them to someone his life didn’t depend on quite so heavily. </p><p>His heart beat a stubborn rhythm in his chest, faster than it should be, and mocked him.</p><p>Shane sighed. He walked into their office to Ryan already crowing about his victory, his smiling face radiant as he grinned at Shane with his feet resting on top of the box.</p><p>Shane’s heart ached. That smile, while beautiful, wasn’t for him to have. He couldn’t keep Ryan, not even smiling and wonderful like this, because they were coworkers, because he cared too much about their friendship to risk it, because Ryan wasn’t into men.</p><p>The thought of losing that lovely face to someone else, some kind, funny woman that Ryan loved with all his heart, was painful. Shane’s chest ached, tight with emotion. He smiled back at Ryan, hoping his eyes weren’t watery. </p><p>“You definitely beat me, Ry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have taken a challenge I couldn’t win.”</p><p>Ryan stopped. He took his feet off the box, the gleeful smile dropped from his face. </p><p>
  <em>His lovely, lovely face.</em>
</p><p>He lent forward, concern playing on his features.</p><p>“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”</p><p>Shane closed his eyes. Panic bloomed in his chest.</p><p>
  <em>Not subtle enough, you showed your hand, he’ll figure it out, get out, get out.</em>
</p><p>Shane had never been one for impulse decisions. But, as he stared into the concerned face of his friend that he was irrevocably in love with, who he knew did not return the sentiment, Shane chose to listen to his instincts for once. </p><p>He turned, and walked out the door.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is a happy story, I promise! The angst is resolved soon lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ryan felt terrible. He’d thought - well, it didn’t matter what he’d thought, it hadn’t worked. He could’ve sworn that he and Shane were getting somewhere, finally, all his hints and gentle touches and laughter getting his message across. He’d thought - he’d thought Shane was becoming open to the possibility of them. The two of them, Shane and Ryan, as more than what they were. Ryan could’ve sworn it felt different, the way Shane looked at him these days. His big smile, his soft eyes, crinkled around the edges, laughing with Ryan, laughing <em>at </em>Ryan. </p><p>It had felt different. And now, now Ryan wasn’t so sure. He’d come to the realisation nearly six months ago that he was into Shane in the biblical way, and that had been a big ole time of self-reflection and recalibration of his sexuality. Into men? Possibly. Into Shane? Definitely.</p><p>Ryan had been shocked to discover that his appreciation of Shane stretched into the physical. Ryan loved the guy, his weird personality and odd antics and the slight hint in some of his words that led Ryan to believe he was some kind of immortal, sent from the 1800’s to mock him. But the physical appreciation had started soon after his Sexuality Is Fluid realisation, and it was becoming a problem.</p><p>He was just so tall. So tall and slender and those legs. Ryan didn’t often feel small compared to people, even though he was short, because he’d spent painstaking years in the gym building up muscle and stamina and a body anyone would be proud of. He knew his biceps looked good, he knew he was physically intimidating. </p><p>And yet. Ryan felt a little dwarfed by Shane, all those long limbs, all those inches in height. It made Ryan wonder where else he had inches. Whether the ‘proportionate body’ comment he’d made in Ruining History had been accurate. And Ryan, well. He liked it. He liked feeling a little small compared to Shane, liked the idea that he could be held down by someone so much bigger than him. But so far, it was Ryan doing all the chasing, and he’d thought that Shane was maybe into this dance they’d been doing the past few weeks.</p><p>The realisation that he was wrong was gutting. </p><p>He’d felt sure - but Shane’s face, looking so uncomfortable in their office, their safe haven, standing awkwardly in front of Ryan as if he wasn’t standing in the space they’d shared for years - it was too much. He’d just, he’d looked so broken - trying to hold himself together with tape.</p><p>Ryan shuddered, curling in on himself, abhorring that he’d caused such discomfort for Shane all because he wanted to tease him with that stupid box and he couldn’t keep it in his pants.</p><p>Ryan felt revulsion, physical revulsion at himself. </p><p>“I held him down on the floor,” Ryan muttered to himself, grinding the heels of his palms into his eyes, as if trying to erase the sight of it.</p><p>“Who does that? How did I think that wasn’t going to be a problem? I didn’t even ask him first, he probably felt so uncomfortable, God, the poor guy, why am I like this?”</p><p>Ryan shook his head, alone in his bed, head in his hands, legs pulled up to make him as small as possible. He spoke into the darkness of his bedroom.</p><p>“I made him so uncomfortable that he left work early. Tomorrow I’ll apologise, throw away the box, and forget about trying to win him over. It’s not worth the loss. It’s not worth his pain.”</p><p>Ryan’s voice trembled as he rationalised to the darkness. He felt a certain resignation, settled over his bones. For the first time in his life, Ryan found himself wishing that something in the darkness would respond. </p><p>Nothing did.</p><p>~~~~</p><p>Shane regretted his decision. It had been stupid, impulsive, and now that he’d walked out on Ryan nearly crying, he was certainly going to know. </p><p>He should have known. He should have known that he wasn’t capable of being that close to Ryan, he shouldn’t have baited Ryan into chasing him, and he shouldn’t have gotten so into being close to him that it clouded his judgement. He knew Ryan was doing it because he was an ex-frat boy and his relationship with masculinity and touching other men was different, and delicate. He knew it wasn’t loving, he knew it was wrong to lie in his bed and imagine pinning Ryan to it, kissing him, his body, running his hands across his toned thighs, choking himself on his- </p><p>Enough. Shane was killing himself like this. It had to stop.</p><p>“<em>You only have two options,</em>” he thought to himself, staring soundlessly at his bedroom ceiling in the eerie quiet of his apartment. “<em>You can either shoot your shot and tell Ryan the truth, or you can bury the feelings until they go away.</em>“</p><p>Even as he thought it, Shane knew the impossibility of telling Ryan. It was too much to imagine, his lovely face screwed up in surprise, disgust,<em> I never knew you felt that way, I don’t feel the same, I’m sorry</em>.</p><p>Shane knew he’d be kind. He’d try to let Shane down easy. His hand would reach out to clasp him on the shoulder like he always did, and hesitate, because Shane’s confession changed everything. </p><p>Shane felt sick just thinking about it.</p><p>“Nothing for it.” He muttered, curling into a ball under his sheets, feeling too small for his skin. “Keep it in, it’ll go away eventually, and nothing has to change.”</p><p>His stupid, hopeful heart beat slowly in his chest, each soft thump a reminder of pain. </p><p>Shane felt hollow.</p><p>~~~~ </p><p>When Shane got into work the next morning, he knew he looked like shit. He’d slept restlessly, snatching an hour here and there, always waking up to his heart thudding in his chest. He braced himself outside their office door, feeling oddly as if he should knock. </p><p>“Stop being an idiot.” He chided himself, gathering his resolve, and with an apology on the tip of his tongue, he walked into the office. </p><p>It was empty. </p><p>Shane stood there, looking around, blinking, as if Ryan would materialise out of nowhere. The office was dark, everything was in its place. It was clear Ryan hadn’t been in yet this morning. </p><p>Shane felt like his heart was rattling around in his chest, all of his adrenaline leaving him in a rush of exhaled air. His eyes landed on the box, the object which had held his attention for nearly the past week. It was sitting there under the desk, but with Ryan not present, Shane felt no need to open it. Clearly, Ryan didn’t want him to know. Shane could respect that. Shane could be a good friend. And when Ryan sprinted into the office in a few minutes, babbling about oversleeping, Shane would assure him he hadn’t looked in the box, because it was important to him. Shane could be normal about this.</p><p>Ryan didn’t sprint into the office in a few minutes. Shane had been a little early, because he couldn’t stand lying in bed anymore. But now it was past regular office hours, and Shane had gotten so used to Ryan being in early to protect the box. He was getting worried.</p><p>He checked his phone for the third time in the past five minutes, but there was nothing from Ryan. Not even a “good morning” text, that Shane had been used to receiving recently. He opened his contacts, going to his favourites and hesitating over Ryan’s number. Was it weird to call him? He was only five minutes late, but Shane couldn’t help but feel something wasn’t right. </p><p>Shane’s stomach was sinking. What if he’d freaked Ryan out so much that he didn’t want to come to work? What if he was standing outside the office door right now, debating whether he should come in, because he didn’t want to be alone with Shane? What if he was sick and needed help? </p><p>Shane was about to press the call button, pride be damned, but the office door swung open. Ryan stood there, staring at him. Shane felt like his tongue had been taken out of his mouth, he couldn’t speak.</p><p>“Hey,” Ryan croaked out, clearing his throat and ducking his head. </p><p>“<em>Oh god, he’s so uncomfortable,</em>” Shane’s brain supplied. His heart felt like it had stopped beating, emptied of pain, leaving nothing. </p><p>“Hey.” Shane said faintly. </p><p>“I just wanted to apologise-“</p><p>“I’m so sorry for what happened-“</p><p>They spoke over each other, each coming to a stop. Ryan’s brow furrowed. </p><p>“Wait, why are you sorry? I’m the one at fault here.”</p><p>Shane’s brain felt like it had well and truly given up. He couldn’t make sense of anything, none of it made any sense, so in his patented eloquence he said, “Huh?”</p><p>Ryan shook his head.</p><p>“I’m the one who’s being a problem. I thought - I thought it would be funny, pinning you to the ground like that, and I didn’t consider how uncomfortable it would make you. I’m sorry, it was such an asshole move of me, I let my actions get away from me and I-“ </p><p>“Stop.” Shane said. He was struggling to process what he was hearing, but his stupid, hopeful heart was picking up pace.</p><p>“Let me get this straight,” Shane said, his brain booting back up and snickering at the irony of his choice of words. “You’re sorry? Because you think I’m upset that you tackled me?”</p><p>Ryan looked truly confused. </p><p>“Isn’t that why you went home early? I thought I’d crossed some boundaries and you were uncomfortable-“</p><p>“Wait wait wait,” Shane cut in, his heart being double time now. “You think I was uncomfortable?”</p><p>Ryan was looking at Shane with wide eyes, a nervous hand scratching the back of his neck.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>Shane laughed. He laughed and laughed, the weight of his pain leaving his chest like helium. He should have known, he should have been fairer to Ryan, of course he wasn’t upset, of course he wasn’t mad at him, he was worried he’d made Shane uncomfortable because he was kind and thoughtful and the sweetest goddamn soul Shane had ever clapped eyes on.</p><p>“Oh Ryan.” Shane said, residual laughter straining at his cheeks. “There is nothing to be sorry for. I thought you were mad at me!”</p><p>Ryan smiled tentatively, some of Shane’s mirth edging into his body, loosening his stiff posture. </p><p>“Why would I be mad at you? I’m the one who tackled you, why would you be sorry?”</p><p>Shane shook his head, a wide smile still etched to his face.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter now, I was being stupid. I got into my head about it and I should have realised I was making a problem where there wasn’t one.”</p><p>Shane couldn’t tell Ryan his secret, maybe, but the weight off his chest knowing that Ryan wasn’t uncomfortable with him, that their friendship wasn’t ruined, it was euphoric. </p><p>“<em>I can keep this,</em>” Shane thought. “<em>I can keep this man as my friend for as long as I live, and I will not risk our friendship again</em>.”</p><p>His hopeful heart, beating happily in his chest, made him think briefly “<em>Ryan wasn’t uncomfortable touching me like that. Maybe-</em>“ Shane cut that thought off there. That was enough revelations for today.</p><p>Ryan grinned, walking into the office and sitting in his chair, next to Shane, where he belonged. </p><p>“Well, okay. Should we agree to drop it?” Ryan was smiling, his kind eyes breaking Shane’s heart in the best way.</p><p>“Yeah, man. Let’s drop it.” </p><p>Ryan grinned, reaching out and clasping Shane’s shoulder. He burned under the touch, but kept his hands to himself, resisting the urge to reach up and grasp Ryan’s fingers with his own. </p><p>“<em>What kinda rom com shit is this?</em>” The rational part of his brain asked. The irrational part was still reeling from the touch.</p><p>“So about the box.” Ryan said, eventually taking his hand back. In the midst of everything, Shane had forgotten the box even existed.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I’m throwing it away.” </p><p>Shane’s head snapped up, his eyes narrowing in confusion. “<em>What the fuck?</em>” His brain supplied.</p><p>“What the fuck?” Shane asked, raising his eyebrows. “Why? You guarded that thing for nearly a whole week and you’re just gonna throw it away?” </p><p>Ryan shrugged. “It was just for some stupid bit I thought would be funny on the new shoot. I wanted it to be a surprise, but-“</p><p>Shane shook his head, cutting Ryan off, feeling emboldened, nay, <em>righteous.</em></p><p>“Ryan, you’ve spent so much time guarding that stupid box that I thought it was beginning to edge me out of best friend status. You’ve been planning this for so long, you went to so much effort to make it happen. You’re doing the bit. And you’re not telling me what it is.”</p><p>With that, Shane turned to his laptop and put his headphones in, signalling the end of the conversation. </p><p>Ryan was staring at him, only ever having seen Shane talk so passionately about something that time he’d mentioned the underwater Area 51. Shane resolutely kept his eyes on his laptop, although the was just staring at the boot-up screen. Whatever. It was about making a point and he was committed to the drama of it. </p><p>“Okay.” Ryan muttered next to him, taking out his phone and typing out a few messages. </p><p>When Shane got to his Google calendar, he saw that he and Ryan were booked in for a shoot this afternoon and evening out at a countryside manor that Shane remembered Ryan saying had supposedly had twenty Victorian-era women murdered in it, potentially as a ritual sacrifice. In the haze of everything, Shane had totally forgotten they had a shoot today. They were scheduled to leave in three hours. </p><p>Shane turned to Ryan. </p><p>“Is the box for the shoot today?” </p><p>Ryan grinned, turning to Shane and shrugging. “Guess you’ll find out.”</p><p>Shane rolled his eyes, having forgotten how much of a bitch Ryan could be.</p><p>“I should have opened the box.” </p><p>~~~~</p><p>Ryan was freaking out. Shane hadn’t minded. He hadn’t been uncomfortable, he wasn’t grossed out by Ryan and his inability to stop touching him, and he was so confused about the whole matter because Shane somehow felt he was at fault? </p><p>It didn’t matter now. It was okay, they were still friends, best friends, and Ryan was suddenly nervous about his plans for later. It had started as a joke, him and Devon, and then it had spiralled out of control when TJ got involved and urged him to do it. They were so disappointed when Ryan told them he couldn’t do what they’d planned this morning, but now. Now Shane had given him express permission. </p><p>Ryan grinned at his phone as Mark, Devon and TJ responded to his texts that the plan was going ahead, with “Sure”, “Amazing!!!” and “Can’t wait for the look on Shane’s face” respectively.</p><p>He turned to Shane. </p><p>“You’re gonna need a suit for later.”</p><p>Shane blinked at him.</p><p>“What?” </p><p>“You’re gonna need a suit for later. For the shoot. Later.” </p><p>Shane blinked again. </p><p>“Is this part of your box plan?” </p><p>Ryan nodded, grinning.</p><p>“I have to be dressed formally now? Ryan, what on Earth is in that box?” </p><p>Ryan kept his face as impassive as possible, trying desperately not to let the sides of his mouth twitch up into a smile. </p><p>“Well, we’re gonna have to stop by my place on the way out then. I don’t carry a suit around with me.”</p><p>Ryan nodded, and turned back to his work. It was going to be a long wait.</p><p>~~~~</p><p>The shoot was eventful, to say the least. It began with the drive, and Ryan refusing to let Shane help carry the box to the car. Shane, despite himself, watched the way Ryan’s arms looked as he held the box. </p><p>They stopped by Shane’s place, and he felt odd as he ran inside to grab a suit. It was... like nerves. Like nerves one gets before a date. Shane knew his life was ridiculous, and he also knew he was going to walk around an abandoned manor for a few hours, while Ryan’s nervous energy and crippling fear took shadows from the corners and turned them into ghosts. Shane, of course, never saw a thing. (He pointedly ignored the Sallie house flashlight incident).</p><p>And even though Shane knew he was going to walk around some dusty, decaying, asbestos-filled house - well, Ryan had told him he’d need a suit. It was perfectly normal to pick his best suit that he’d just had dry-cleaned, right? Totally the best choice. Nothing to do with Ryan, no siree.</p><p>Did Ryan have a suit in the box? Surely it wouldn’t be so heavy? </p><p>Shane shook his head, packing his suit as creaselessly as possible into a bag and shutting off the lights in his apartment. He scratched Obi’s ears, who’d come to wind around his legs just as he was leaving. </p><p>“Sorry, boy,” he murmured, scritching his little head. “I’ll be back soon.”</p><p>With that, Shane was back in the car, and they started the 45 minute drive to the abandoned manor. Shane tried to ignore the nerves, sternly telling himself that he was a big boy and would deal well with whatever was in that stupid box. He also tried to ignore the clearly petrified energy rolling off of Ryan in waves, as his leg bounced and he picked at his finger nails. They were sitting in the backseat, being driven by Mark, with TJ and Devon in another car with the rest of the equipment. </p><p>Shane leaned across the gap. </p><p>“You need to calm down.”</p><p>Ryan whipped his head around from where he’d been staring out of the window.</p><p>He took on Shane’s face, maybe five inches from his. His features softened a little and he nodded, making an effort to still his leg. </p><p>Shane thought he was nervous because of the ghosts. Shockingly enough, Ryan wasn’t scared because of those just yet. He was scared of what was in the box, whether it was a good idea, whether it was even a funny joke.</p><p>Shane appraised him gently. </p><p>“<em>If only you knew.</em>” Ryan thought.</p><p>In a sharp fit of nerves, Ryan reached across the seat, and grabbed Shane’s hand. </p><p>“<em>This is me telling you, buddy</em>.” Ryan thought, looking at Shane’s shocked face. “<em>Can you hear me?</em>”</p><p>They spent the rest of the ride in relative silence, Mark never being one for chatter and Shane grown quiet at their linked hands. Somewhere along the road, as they ate the miles away, Shane started stroking Ryan’s knuckles with his thumb. It made him blow out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.</p><p>They didn’t let go until they arrived at the manor, nearly thirty minutes later.</p><p>~~~~</p><p>
  <em>“So, the owners of this mansion supposedly invited forty guests to their dinner party. Interesting to note, all the guest members were couples, and this being the 1820’s, that meant twenty men and twenty women, plus the head couple, John and Elizabeth Lorraine, who owned the manor.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“So they’re here, having a little dinner, having a little wine,”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, all in all a super fancy manor at the time, and it was like, a huge honour to be invited here.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m assuming the evening didn’t end pleasantly.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No, no nice chocolates and carriages home for these couples, unfortunately. So they had dinner, and they decided, hey, it’s the 1820’s, we’re still in the colonialist section of history, Portland cement was just invented. Why not have a dance?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“A boogie, if you will. Sure, sure, makes sense.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“So they get up from dinner to dance, and all twenty couples are dancing in this ballroom while the Lorraine’s watch.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“The room we’re in right now?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Yeah, this was the ballroom. They get up to dance, start dancing, and suddenly one woman complains of feeling sick. And then another of the women complains of feeling sick, and the next thing you know, all twenty women, except Elizabeth Lorraine, are feeling super unwell.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“And then, they all collapse. All twenty women, one by one, drop to the floor. Every single one of them was dead.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“...Why?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“That’s the mystery, baby!” </em>
</p><p>Shane laughed, looking up at the camera as Ryan tried desperately to ignore the haunting expanse of dark room at his back.</p><p>“So they were poisoned?” </p><p>“You’d think.” Ryan said, turning to him and crooking an eyebrow. “However, no sign of drugs was ever found in their systems, and all twenty women had autopsies performed on them.” </p><p>“Okay, but this is the 1820’s, right? Are drug searches really gonna be that thorough?”</p><p>“Well maybe not on your average heroin addict that dies on the street, but if twenty upper-class white women drop dead you’re probably gonna investigate that pretty thoroughly, even if it is the 1820’s.”</p><p>“I mean yeah, you’d think so. But no drugs were found in their systems.”</p><p>“Exactly. So, what killed them? And why didn’t Elizabeth Lorraine die?”</p><p>~~~~ </p><p>It was an interesting case, Shane had to grant him that.</p><p>“Super sexist of the demon to kill only the women, I gotta say.”</p><p>Ryan glared at him. </p><p>“I agree, but there’s no record of demon activity here, just ghost activity.” </p><p>“Of course.” Shane said, rolling his eyes. </p><p>They spent hours walking around the manor, and Ryan had to admit, it was incredible. Dilapidated and abandoned as it was, it had clearly been a place of real beauty in its time. Shame about the twenty unsolved deaths.</p><p>The spirit box made Ryan jump, as usual, and Shane grumble, as usual. There was a lot of activity, even as far away from radio stations as they were, and Ryan could have sworn he’d heard “ballroom” whispered through the box. Shane insisted it was just a garble of syllables, but whatever. It was compelling evidence.</p><p>Once they were done exploring and Ryan had fully recounted the last of the grisly history, they returned to the ballroom, where Shane noticed TJ and Mark hadn’t started packing up the cameras yet, even though they’d filmed that segment. </p><p>Shane’s stomach bottomed out. Was now the time? He’d almost forgotten about the box in the midst of arguing with Ryan that all the men conspiring to kill their wives was more likely than a malicious spirit hell-bent on killing women.</p><p>“And now,” Ryan said, smiling at the camera, “It’s time for something a little different. I obviously think the evidence we’ve collected tonight is pretty compelling, but Shane seems to disagree.”  </p><p>Shane scoffed, raising his eyebrows at the camera.</p><p>“You can’t collect evidence for something that doesn’t exist, Ryan.”</p><p>Ryan shook his head.</p><p>“Anyway, I’ve been keeping something from Shane the whole week, because I wanted it to be a surprise. It’s nearly killed him.”</p><p>“He’s right,” Shane chimed in, looking sorrowfully at Ryan. “I begged and begged, but Ryan’s a tough nut to crack.”</p><p>Devon snorted from behind the camera. Ryan dutifully ignored her, while Shane grinned.</p><p>“It’s time for a little bit of role play.” Ryan said, flashing a grin of white teeth at the camera, and Shane just about died on the spot. </p><p>He spluttered, reeling, and choked out “I’m sorry, a bit of <em>what now</em>? People died here, Ryan!”</p><p>Ryan burst out laughing whilst Shane stood there incredulous, looking back and forth between him and the cameras. </p><p>“You’ve gotta be kidding.” Shane said.</p><p>“You’re about to see just how serious I am.” Ryan managed to get out between fits of laughter. “We’re gonna tempt the ghosts!”</p><p>TJ called cut, his shoulders shaking with laughter as Devon was cry-laughing silently in the background. Even Mark looked a little amused. </p><p>“It’s already worth it, just for that reaction.” TJ said, trying to control another fit of laughter. “And you haven’t even seen it yet.”</p><p>“What does that mean?” Shane asked, unable to discern from any of the laughing idiots in the room what was going on. </p><p>“Better get changed into your suit, Shane.” Mark said, the corners of his mouth lifting in a grin. “Wouldn’t want to be late.” </p><p>Shane just shook his head and continued shaking it, grabbing his suit bag and heading into one of the nearby rooms, ignoring Ryan who was laughing so hard it had turned into a coughing fit. Whatever it was, what could be <em>that</em> funny?</p><p>~~~~</p><p>It was that funny. Dear God, it was the funniest thing Shane had ever seen in his life, because he was standing in a tetanus-riddled manor house in his best suit, with Ryan Bergara standing in front of him, wearing a dress. </p><p>Now. Shane was a modern man. He knew that there was nothing inherently funny about men wearing women’s clothing, even if it was a trope Buzzfeed liked to exploit for comedic purposes regularly. </p><p>But this. Good God, it was comedic gold. Ryan, Ryan Bergara, was standing in front of him in the most ridiculous, most frilly, most <em>unbelievable</em> dress he’d ever seen. It was pink, for starters, a baby pink, with a sweetheart neckline and puffed sleeves. The bodice was a ribbed corset, pulled tight across Ryan’s waist in an attempt to make him look feminine. Shane vaguely wondered if his abs could breathe under all that boning. Heh. Boning. </p><p>The skirt was full, a princess ball gown kind of full, and stretched to the ground. It was satin, and Shane thought the whole effect may have been rather lovely if it wasn’t Ryan standing there, with his big biceps and his grinning face, red from laughing so much. </p><p>Men in dresses didn’t make Shane laugh, but this man in this dress sure as hell did, because it was just so incongruous. Out of all the things Shane had theorised could be in the box, a dress fit for Ryan Bergara was not one of them, but Lord was he happy that it was the end result. </p><p>Shane was fully doubled over with laughter. He was cackling, his shoulders bent inwards, his eyes watering and his hands on his knees. He pulled in great gulps of air to try and stop laughing, but Devon and TJ were all-out hooting behind the cameras and every time Shane straightened up, he caught another glimpse of Ryan in the dress and was sent into another fit.</p><p>“You like what you see?” Ryan deadpanned, his mouth fighting against a grin, as he slowly twirled in front of Shane. </p><p>Shane was snorting, an ugly sound coming out of his mouth when he spotted the giant pink bow on the back of Ryan’s dress.</p><p>He managed to calm down for the most part after a minute, pulling in calming breaths and trying desperately to not get set off again.</p><p>“Now,” Ryan said, turning to the camera, “Shane and I are going to act out the scene of the crime. We’ve got a record player for the music, which was a bitch to transport here by the way-“</p><p>“<em>That was why the box was so heavy</em>,” Shane thought.</p><p>“- and good sir Shane here and I are gonna experience the 1820’s in all their glory.”</p><p>“Can I just say,” Shane said, looking at the camera briefly before turning back to Ryan, “this is the best idea you’ve ever had. This is brilliant.”</p><p>Ryan shone with the compliment. </p><p>“Let’s get this party started!” Devon  yelled, putting the little needle thing on the record player on the spinning record. Some mellow music came out, something traditional, definitely a fiddle involved. </p><p>“May I have this dance?” Shane said, bowing to Ryan and holding his hand out, struggling not to grin. </p><p>“My pleasure, sir.” Ryan offered in a poor imitation of a woman’s voice, nearly setting Shane off again.</p><p>They grasped hands, and Shane was too preoccupied trying not to laugh that he naturally fell into step with Ryan, placing a hand on his bodiced waist, with Ryan’s coming up to rest on his shoulder. They moved around the room, laughing when Shane tripped over his feet.</p><p>Shane, ever the opportunist, yelled “Wow, what a beautiful woman my wife is! Sure would be a shame if some ghost came around to kill her!” </p><p>Ryan snorted, nodding as they waltzed clumsily around the decaying ballroom.</p><p>“I’m so frail and innocent! Sure would be terrible if some ghost came along to take advantage of me, being a woman and all.” </p><p>TJ was grinning, giving them a thumbs up behind the camera, as Devon, still laughing, was wiping a fresh set of tears out of her eyes.</p><p>“Ryan, this is brilliant.” Shane murmured, grinning down at what he could only think of Ryan’s comedic magnum opus.</p><p>If it became a little harder to breathe when Ryan looked up at him, his face shining with laughter, Shane ignored it. They weren’t a real couple, they weren’t really dancing together, and if they were, Ryan would be in a suit, not a dress. Speaking of,</p><p>“You look great in your suit, by the way.” Ryan smiled, his kind eyes taking in the long expanse of Shane in his dark navy suit. “The blue looks great on you.”</p><p>“You’re not so bad yourself, little lady.” Shane offered, spinning Ryan out in an under the arm twist. If he was slightly distracted by the way Ryan laughed and clutched his hand, he didn’t say anything.</p><p>“<em>Wi’ thy fine silken jacket o’ blue,</em>” the record crooned. Shane was lost, he was so lost, his emotions were all mixed up as he danced with Ryan to music from the 1820’s, the starlight coming in through the holes in the ceiling. They fell silent, dancing around the ballroom, falling into rhythm, grinning at each other when Ryan stepped on his own skirts. And Shane, God, Shane knew it was for the camera, he knew it wasn’t real, he knew they didn’t waltz together on a Friday night, but he wanted it so badly that for a moment he forgot. </p><p>He went with it, mustering every ounce of grace in his too-big limbs, and spun Ryan out across the dance floor, grabbing him at the last second and pulling him in, planting a foot behind his legs and dipping him down for all he was worth.</p><p>TJ and Devon had stopped laughing. </p><p>Ryan’s arm was looped around his neck, the other holding on to his skirt, as Shane held him up from the floor by the waist in a pose that could only be described as <em>bridal</em>.</p><p>“Holy shit,” Ryan breathed, his eyes huge in the half-dark. “Did you just <em>dip</em> me?”</p><p>The song came to an end, and Shane pulled him up, setting him gently on his feet. </p><p>“I just dipped you.”</p><p>There was a round of applause from their crew behind the camera, and a definite whoop (probably Devon) somewhere in there. Shane wasn’t too sure, because he was busy looking at Ryan’s face, soft, open, and so achingly sweet that Shane wanted to grab him by both cheeks and kiss him silly. Shane knew he was looking at Ryan’s mouth. When he dragged his eyes up, Ryan’s expression was different. It was... knowing, somehow. Exactly what Ryan seemed to be knowing about, Shane had no idea.</p><p>Ryan reached out, grabbing Shane’s lapels, and before Shane knew what was going on, pulled him into a hug. And Shane, God, Shane just went with it like he wanted to, he let himself just have it for a minute. He tucked one arm low on Ryan’s waist, the other slung around his back, and his face was angled down with his jaw resting against Ryan’s temple. </p><p>It was lovely, is what it was. It was stunning, shocking to be held so intimately. Shane squeezed, trying to put everything he meant into the movement. It said<em> “I love you”. </em>It said <em>“I want this”.</em> It said <em>“You make me insane, and I would run to the ends of the earth if it meant we could be together”.</em></p><p>And Ryan, well. Ryan squeezed back. </p><p>They parted. Ryan felt wobbly, picking up his skirts and nodding at Shane once before walking over to Devon, who was smiling at the two of them with the fondest expression he’d ever seen on her face. She murmured something to Ryan, and he chuckled, looking back at Shane. </p><p>Devon began unlacing Ryan’s dress, and Shane moved to march double time out of the room, knowing that if he watched Ryan undress he might literally implode. Whatever.</p><p>Just as he was about to walk into his little changing room he had tentatively named “Tetanus City”, TJ, who had been packing away their equipment, clasped him on the shoulder. Shane stopped, averting his eyes, not knowing if he could look.</p><p>“Shane.” </p><p>Shane squeezed his eyes closed briefly, before finding his dignity and looking TJ in the eye. His expression was kind, heart-breakingly kind, and the way he smiled at Shane was almost fatherly. </p><p>“It wouldn’t change, you know.” TJ said, patting Shane on the shoulder. “We wouldn’t think differently of the two of you.”</p><p>Shane shook his head, his throat tight. TJ knew, he knew and there was nothing Shane could do about it.</p><p>“Can I really risk it?” Shane asked, fighting the lump in his throat.</p><p>TJ huffed out a breath of laughter, shaking his head. </p><p>“Let’s just say, if we were betting, I’d put all my money on it.” </p><p>With that, TJ turned and continued packing away their cameras. How cryptic.</p><p>Shane hurried into Tetanus City, because he caught a glimpse of Ryan half unlaced out of the corner of his eye and again, you know, implosions. He changed mechanically, his head buzzing.</p><p>Was it possible? Could it be true that Ryan was- that Ryan was into him? Yesterday that notion had felt like an impossibility beyond comprehension, and yet. The hand-holding. The dancing. The hugging. The side-splitting laughter, Ryan’s lovely, lovely face.</p><p>Dear God, was it possible?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It’s about to get sexy lads! Oooh!<br/>If that’s not what you’re into, I suggest clicking off now.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The drive back was quiet, and yet heavy. As soon as they were seated in the car, Mark driving them again, Shane stretched his hand out across the middle seat. A question.</p><p>Ryan immediately reached out, slotting his fingers in between Shane’s. An answer. </p><p>Shane smiled out the window, the dark countryside morphing slowly back into the LA city skyline. His heart felt fit to burst.</p><p>“Where first, boys?” Mark asked as they pulled into the bustle of the city, which Shane appreciated. Everyone in this car knew that Ryan’s place was closest, and therefore it made sense to go there first. Shane got the sense that Mark had decided he was dropping them both off in the same place. </p><p>Shane opened his mouth, but Ryan beat him to it, taking the leap of faith. “Shane’s.” He said. </p><p>Shane’s heart tapped double time. </p><p>“<em>It’s happening</em>,” Shane thought, his stomach twisting into a Gordian knot. “<em>It’s really happening.</em>” </p><p>“<em>Don’t assume,</em>” he chided himself. “<em>He might just want to talk</em>.”</p><p>Ryan’s thumb was dragging slow circles across Shane’s knuckles. It didn’t seem very talkative.</p><p>They arrived outside Shane’s apartment building without him noticing, his thoughts serving as more than enough entertainment. He snapped out of it when Ryan let go of his hand and clambered out of the car, and Shane hurried to get out too.</p><p>“See you on Monday,” Mark drawled from the front seat as they collected their stuff from the car. There was a faint smile on his lips, and Shane thanked him internally for being such a good sport.</p><p>The walk up to Shane’s apartment was surreal. It was a walk they’d completed together so many times, a liminal stage of their journey to be done as quickly as possible to get to bad horror films and pizza night, but this time it felt important. They were silent as they carried their stuff up the stairs. The tension was palpable. Shane felt hot under the collar.</p><p>He unlocked his door, trying not to let his keys shake in his grip. He already felt transparent, like every emotion he was feeling was blown wide open, like glass, on display for Ryan to see. </p><p>The door swung open, and they stepped inside. Obi, the traitorous bastard, immediately came and wound himself around Ryan’s legs, to which Ryan cooed and immediately dropped his bags, toeing off his shoes and picking up Obi to cuddle him. </p><p>“Aren’t you a good boy, Obi? Yes you are! Yes you are, oh my goodness, you’re so talented.” Ryan was scratching at Obi’s chin as he pushed his little head into Ryan’s hand.</p><p>“Where’s your dignity?” Shane asked, a smile tugging at his mouth as he kicked off his shoes and took his bag into the living room. He had something of his own planned for Ryan.</p><p>“It was so mean of us to leave you, wasn’t it, Obi? It was. I’m sorry, little man, are you hungry? Do you want some food? Yeah?” Ryan was still cooing to Obi in the kitchen, clattering Obi’s many food dishes around.</p><p>Shane’s heart was tripping in his chest, the tooth-achingly sweet domesticity of it all hitting him like a freight train. God, could it be like this? Could they have this, just the two of them, late on Friday nights after shoots, on sunny Saturdays, on rainy afternoons? He hoped so. He hoped he wasn’t reading this all wrong, he hoped desperately that Ryan was just as committed as him. He hoped he wasn’t alone in this pining, that was essentially like a punch to the throat.</p><p>Whilst Ryan was still cooing to Obi, Shane moved the couch back a little further to the wall, and moved the coffee table so it was out of the way, pressed up against the TV cabinet. </p><p>“<em>This is insane,</em>” He told himself, dimming the lights. “<em>To go to this amount of effort and you’re not even sure if you’re dating yet.</em>”</p><p>Shane ignored the dissenting voice in his brain, setting up his own record player that he and Ryan had spotted at a thrift store once. He remembered that day clearly, months ago now, where they’d worked together to carry it up the stairs, laughing as they figured out how all the switches and dials worked. It had been a good investment, playing in the background whenever Ryan was over.</p><p>When they were packing everything up, the studio record player had gone back into the box that had started it all, alongside Ryan’s dress. Before it did, though, Shane had made sure to grab the record, without Ryan noticing. <em>The Pitman’s Courtship</em>, it was called. Shane wondered how long Ryan had looked through music from the 1820’s before settling on that.</p><p>The same mellow notes lifted gently from Shane’s own record player, the same traditional chords sounding smaller, more intimate in Shane’s living room than they did in the ballroom. When he turned away from the record player, Ryan was leaning in the doorway, watching him. </p><p>Shane stepped into the middle of his impromptu dance floor.</p><p>“Figured you might want to redo that dance. Without the dress and cameras.”</p><p>Shane held out his hand, his heart thundering in his chest. </p><p>Ryan smiled.</p><p>“You’re such a dork.”</p><p>He walked across the short space, stopping when they were opposite one another. Ryan grinned, and Shane looped his arms around his waist, Ryan’s arms coming up around Shane’s shoulders. Shane took a breath, and as the words from the song started to drift into the air, he swayed gently, Ryan picking up his rhythm, and they moved slowly around their little ballroom. </p><p>Shane looked down at their socked feet, moving in time, and it was suddenly all so real, all so vivid, all so heart-rendingly sweet, that he couldn’t wait any longer. One more leap of faith.</p><p>He pressed his forehead to Ryan’s, asking quietly “Can I kiss you?” </p><p>Ryan swallowed, and nodded, and then there was nothing but the lean down and the gentle press of their lips together, soft in the dim light of a fateful Friday evening.</p><p>Ryan’s hand came up, pressing against Shane’s cheek and angling his jaw, kissing him deeper. Shane made some kind of undignified noise against Ryan’s mouth and tilted his head, wishing it were possible to cast a moment in amber and hold it, ephemeral, forever. </p><p>When they parted they were pressed tight together, from hip to chest, and Shane could feel the steady rhythm of Ryan’s heart, running fast, against his sternum. </p><p>“Ryan,” Shane muttered, pressing their foreheads back together. </p><p>“Yeah,” Ryan replied, nodding his head. </p><p>Shane went back in. He pressed his mouth to Ryan’s, his heart fluttering, running his tongue gently along his lip once as Ryan opened his mouth. They kissed, and kissed, like it was air. Ryan felt so much, unable to stop as he pressed himself harder against Shane, stepped further into his space, gripped his collar tighter. One of Shane’s arms was locked tight around his waist, his other hand on Ryan’s jaw, scratching his nails through the short hair of his sideburns. It was easy, too easy to tilt Ryan’s head further, to slip his tongue inside, to bite at his lower lip. Ryan shuddered, hands tugging erratically at Shane’s shirt, pulling them both back towards the couch. Shane stumbled to keep up, unwilling to stop kissing Ryan for even a minute, his blood running hot through his body as his knees hit the edge of the couch and he sat down, Ryan tumbling down after him into his lap.</p><p>And from there it really was too easy. Ryan’s thighs were bracketing Shane’s hips and there was not an inch of space between their bodies, having possibly the best make-out session of Shane’s life. It felt natural to grip onto Ryan’s waist like that, to feel one of Ryan’s hands carding through his hair like that, to let one of his hands slip to Ryan’s thigh and hold on, feeling the muscle there move as Ryan started to shift his body, moving rhythmically with Shane, grinding them together. </p><p>And God, it was so much. So much heat, so much fervour, so much of everything that Shane felt like saying some truly embarrassing shit, he felt like he could drown, could crawl into Ryan’s heart and stay there forever. </p><p>He was moving now, he could feel it, he was shifting and bracing and grinding into Ryan’s hips with his own, his dick achingly hard in his jeans and pressing up to get acquainted. <em>Hello, sailor.</em></p><p>Shane pulled away, his dick pulsing as he looked at Ryan’s mouth, red from abuse and- no, <em>nope</em>, stopping that thought right there. Shane shook his head, not wanting to come in his pants. Ryan was breathing heavy, his eyes a little half-lidded and his mouth, <em>God</em>, his mouth.</p><p>Shane shoved his face into Ryan’s throat, unable to look at him looking like that right now. He kissed at the skin there, enjoying Ryan’s hitching breathing, before dragging his tongue along to Ryan’s pulse-point and biting. Ryan whined, actually whined, and scrambled to shove his hands under Shane’s shirt, rucking it up to his armpits and pulling impatiently. </p><p>“Ryan, God, we should slow down.” Shane said, lifting his arms for Ryan to take his shirt off. It was over his head quickly, and Ryan was pulling at his own shirt, Shane lifting it up with him and fuck. Fuck, Shane knew he wasn’t bad in the looks department but Ryan, Ryan was some kind of Adonis. He was sculpted, his abs and pecs standing out under his skin, his biceps shifting in their full glory under honey tan, and it was ruining Shane’s life.</p><p>“This isn’t <em>fair,</em>” Shane muttered, falling forward to suck a mark to Ryan’s collarbone as he squirmed. </p><p>“Thought you wanted to slow down.” Ryan said, sucking in a breath, his head tilting back as Shane’s thumb came up to rub over his nipple. </p><p>“We should really talk about this,” Shane murmured against his skin as he moved to suck another mark at the base of Ryan’s throat like the hypocrite he was, enjoying the tremor in his thighs.</p><p>“We should,” Ryan agreed breathlessly, his hand coming up to grip Shane’s hair and keep him where he was, kissing Ryan’s chest.</p><p>“God, it’s too tempting. You’re too tempting.” Shane said, wrapping his mouth around Ryan’s left nipple and sucking hard, feeling Ryan’s body go taught for a few seconds, a strained, cut-off noise exiting his throat. Ryan doubled down on the grinding, dragging his hips back and pushing them forward in a truly torturous rhythm, Shane’s dick straining painfully against the zipper of his jeans, but it was such delicious pain.</p><p>Shane felt a little wild, a little like he was coming undone, and it had to stop. It was too good, it was too much, too fast, and they needed to talk. </p><p>“I really don’t want to say this,” Shane ground out against Ryan’s chest, still pulling Ryan’s hips hard onto his own, “But we need to stop.” </p><p>Ryan nodded, a jerky, shaky thing, making a visible effort to slow his hips and still his hands. They were both breathing heavily, twitching, Shane resisting the urge to just kiss him, over and over, for as long as he could. </p><p>“We should talk.” Ryan said, voice a little strained. </p><p>Shane nodded, his hands tightening on Ryan’s thighs, the ones that featured regularly in his dreams, his eyes darting back and forth between his eyes, his lips, his chest.</p><p>“We’re gonna have a problem on our hands if you don’t stop looking at me like that.” Ryan warned, hands flexing on Shane’s shoulders.</p><p>“It’s a little difficult to focus with you on top of me, looking like that.” Shane said, hoarsely. He was being totally honest, because Ryan was a home-run and deserved to know it.</p><p>Ryan closed his eyes.</p><p>“Okay, okay, I’ll be quick. I want this, I want you, more than anything, but I can’t do this if you aren’t down to date. I can’t just hook up once and have that be it, I wanna date you, I wanna hold your hand at the movies, I wanna kiss in public. There’s so much riding on this, we have such a good thing going with the show. It’s such a risk, but- but I want to take it. If you do.”</p><p>Ryan’s eyes were earnest, and in the low-light he was so beautiful that Shane felt a little short of breath. The last time Shane had properly cried was when he got Obi as a kitten, but he was damn near close now. His throat felt like it was seizing up.</p><p>“I want it too, I’ve wanted it for so long, you have no idea. I walked around with this secret eating at my heart and I never thought, I never thought you’d feel the same. I’m so happy you do, Ryan.”</p><p>Ryan was smiling at him, a wide, watery kind of smile. Shane sniffed, grabbing one of Ryan’s hands off his shoulder and linking their fingers together.</p><p>“I’m all in if you are.”</p><p>Ryan sniffed, nodding, leaning down and pressing his forehead gently against Shane’s.</p><p>“I’m in, I’m all in.”</p><p>Shane breathed out a sigh, a sigh he’d been holding for months. He chuckled a little, touching his nose to Ryan’s, well and truly gone on some short little man who believed a spirit box was a connection to The Other and not just a jacked up radio with a high price point. Shane was in love, he really was, and though Ryan didn’t look like the tall woman he’d always pictured marrying, Shane loved him all the same. A little weird, a little obsessive, very beautiful. Just Shane’s type, apparently.</p><p>“What now?”</p><p>Ryan pulled back, shrugging. “Tomorrow we’ll go on a date. A proper one, to dinner and then a movie or something. Maybe I’ll even hold your hand in public if I’m feeling frisky.” </p><p>Shane grinned. </p><p>“Hold your horses there, cowboy, let’s not get too freaky.”</p><p>Ryan pointedly looked at Shane’s bare chest, and Shane felt a flush spread from his cheeks down to his neck. He enjoyed being looked at like that, as long as Ryan was the one looking.</p><p>“And what about tonight?” Ryan asked, wiggling his hips firmly down onto Shane’s crotch, a cheeky smile playing at his mouth. The sensation was enough to pull Shane’s breath a little short.</p><p>“<em>Two can play at that game, fucker.</em>” Shane thought.</p><p>“Are we really gonna do this before our first date?” Shane asked, leaning into Ryan’s space, so that their lips brushed ever so slightly as he spoke. “It would be terribly unorthodox.” </p><p>Ryan’s hands tightened on his shoulders and he leaned in, eyes closed, before he seemed to remember himself and pulled back slightly. </p><p>“I should mention,” he said, looking sheepish, averting his eyes, “I’ve only ever kissed one guy before, and it didn’t go any further than that.”</p><p>Shane tried very hard to tamp down the fact that his brain was screaming “<em>Never been with a guy! Never had sex with a man!</em>”.  </p><p>“I’m a dick virgin.” Ryan added, which was not helping. Shane hoped he sounded calm when he said “Thats not a problem, we’ll do what you’re comfortable with and when you’re comfortable with it, and no more.” </p><p>The thought of being the first for Ryan, though. To touch him like he hadn’t been touched before, to give him something he’d never been given, well. It was heady. Some greedy little goblin part of Shane’s brain was crowing “<em>Mine! Mine! First guy to touch Ryan ‘Biceps’ Bergara in the fun way!</em>”. Shane tried not to get too distracted.</p><p>“We don’t have to do anything tonight, I know we got a little carried away-“</p><p>Ryan shook his head vigorously until Shane stopped talking.</p><p>“I want- I want to come. I want to make you come. This whole conversation has been very serious and necessary but right now I just want to get a hand on your dick, dude.”</p><p>Shane laughed, sucking in a breath because his erection had flagged over the course of their conversation but, <em>hello</em>, it was back.</p><p>“Please, please do that.” </p><p>Ryan grinned, and reached down, and Shane’s heart leapt up into his throat. Ryan Bergara was sitting on his lap, undoing his belt buckle, biting his lip. What kind of fortunate fever dream had he fallen into?</p><p>There was no hesitation in Ryan’s movements, he didn’t pause, he just undid Shane’s jeans, pulled his underwear down, and wrapped a hand around his dick.</p><p>Shane hissed, the feeling sparking a live-wire down his spine after all the teasing and grinding. Ryan moved his hand slowly, pulling it up and flicking his thumb over the head. Shane shifted into the movement, his hips aching to just thrust up into it, but this was Ryan’s first time with someone else’s dick and Shane wasn’t about to ruin it for him with his thirst. Ryan seemed to get the hint anyway, his eyes hopping back and forth between Shane’s face and his cock as he sped up the movement of his hand, flicking his thumb over the head every other stroke and making Shane grit his teeth, sucking in a breath. He looked down at Ryan’s hand, the contrast of tan against his pale skin doing something to him. Shane’s fingers flexed on Ryan’s thighs, digging in a little, and Ryan squeezed a little tighter. </p><p>Shane let out an aborted noise, trying his best not move too much, trying to let Ryan move at his own pace. Ryan, however seemed to have other ideas.</p><p>“Is this how you like it?” He asked, leaning into Shane’s space, pressing a slow kiss to Shane’s mouth, speeding up his hand. “Me in your lap like this, touching you? Is this how you want it?”</p><p>
  <em>Oh God, Ryan was a dirty talker? </em>
</p><p>“It’s good,” Shane gasped out, hips stuttering a little, “It’s really good, Ryan, fuck.”</p><p>“Nothing I could do to improve?” Ryan asked, his voice low and honey-smooth, dripping into Shane like water. </p><p>“God, Ryan, just please don’t stop, love you on top of me like this,” Shane told him fervently, grabbing a hold of Ryan’s ass with one hand without thinking about it. Ryan’s eyes widened, and before Shane could take his hand back, could apologise for moving too fast, Ryan was speeding up his strokes and biting down on Shane’s bottom lip.</p><p>“Getting handsy, are you?” He spoke raggedly, pressing a hard kiss to Shane’s jawline.</p><p>Shane felt like he could explode, the tension in his stomach just kept building and building and heat kept striking up his spine, and Ryan’s words were just making it worse, hurtling him towards coming in about three minutes flat.</p><p>“I’ll stop getting handsy when you stop liking it.” Shane grit out, reaching around properly and grabbing a good handful of, <em>fuck</em>, of Ryan’s ass. It was a good ass too, a great ass, definitely one Shane wouldn’t mind getting better acquainted with.</p><p>Ryan’s mouth opened in surprise before he grinned, a wild, feral thing, and squeezed Shane’s dick hard, rubbing his thumb on the sensitive underside before executing what Shane privately considered to be his go-for-gold strokes, because Shane was flying towards coming embarrassingly quickly. </p><p>“I’m gonna come, Ryan,<em> fuck</em>, I’m gonna come,” Shane struggled to get it out, breathy as he scrambled to grab onto Ryan properly, to brace for it.</p><p>“Yeah, Shane, do it, come, come for me-“ Shane didn’t hear the rest, because Ryan’s hand was doing a grade-A job of tipping him over the edge and he was coming, white hot, everything feeling molten as he hid his face in Ryan’s collar bone and groaned, long and loud, spurting up over Ryan’s chest as he came. It was blinding, is what it was. All that feeling, all that emotion, all curled up into one supernova of an orgasm. He knew his hand was pressed hard enough into Ryan’s thigh to leave bruises, and hmm, if that wasn’t a thought. Shane shuddered, a final, choked off noise exiting his throat before he slumped into Ryan’s chest. He felt a little wrung-out by the end of it.</p><p>He came back down from his high to Ryan looking at him, eyes a little shocked. </p><p>“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” </p><p>Shane smiled, tipping his head back and blowing out a breath.</p><p>“That was so good, Ryan. You did such a good job. I may never walk again.”</p><p>Ryan glowed under the praise, his back straightening out a little as he grinned. </p><p>“Really?” </p><p>Shane jerked his head at the come dripping down Ryan’s neck.</p><p>“Well I hit you on the chin, so take that as you will.” </p><p>Ryan flushed all over, and oh yeah. Shane could do with seeing Ryan Bergara flustered more often. He pulled his hands up, stroking them down Ryan’s sides.</p><p>“I know you’re new to this, but that was really good. I want to return the favour, if you want me to.”</p><p>Shane kinda felt that just speaking honestly was best for now. Dirty talk was great, and Shane was very much down, but only once they’d established what Ryan was actually comfortable with. Until then, Shane didn’t want to scare Ryan off with his big mouth. Heh. Big mouth.</p><p>“I’m gonna be honest, I think I’m gonna come within five seconds of you touching me.” Ryan swallowed, his eyes dark.</p><p>Shane did his level best not to rip Ryan’s belt off then and there. </p><p>“Is that what you want?” Shane asked, his voice low, his hands stroking along Ryan’s hips, thumbs tracing the vee of them, dipping slightly under the waistband of his jeans.</p><p>“Please,” Ryan whispered, his body going lax in Shane’s grip. Shane nodded and Ryan lunged down, kissing him hungrily as Shane worked to unbuckle his belt, fighting the button on his jeans until they were pulled down to Ryan’s thighs, his dick tenting his boxers.</p><p>“God, you’re so hot,” Shane told him fervently, running his knuckles along the stiff outline of Ryan’s dick through his underwear. </p><p>Ryan shuddered, his hips arching forward and his dick twitching under the touch. Shane’s wrist didn’t really bend the way it needed to to get at Ryan’s dick like this, and that was a goddamn shame, because Shane liked being under the good old Bergara thighs. He may be in the process of developing a small obsession for them. Whatever.</p><p>He shifted, running his thumb gently up and down Ryan’s shaft while he kissed him.</p><p>“I’m not gonna be able to get a good angle like this, can I- can I move you a little?” Shane asked. The temptation to just pull Ryan up onto his knees on the couch, slump down and choke himself on his dick was strong.</p><p>“<em>Keep it together, Madej.</em>” His brain supplied. </p><p>Ryan nodded, and Shane figured the best way to do this was fast. He gripped onto Ryan’s hips and flung - a controlled flinging, mind you - flung him to the right, so he was sitting on the couch upright. Before Ryan could question him, he got down on his knees between Ryan’s (godlike, beautiful, truly a work of art) thighs.</p><p>Ryan’s eyes were wide when he looked at Shane. Something in Ryan’s brain was short-circuiting looking at Shane on his knees, his hands on Ryan’s thighs, shirtless, and Ryan had to suck in a loud breath before he could speak.</p><p>“Fuck, Shane.” His voice felt faint, his dick felt ready to explode. </p><p>“What do you want?” Shane asked, something molten in his gaze as he stared up at Ryan, his hands tightening on his thighs.</p><p>“Your mouth, please, your mouth, Shane.”</p><p>Shane nodded quickly, his hands pulling Ryan’s underwear down to his thighs. His dick was as wonderful as the rest of his body, as long as Shane’s but girthier, and he was dripping.</p><p>Shane didn’t waste any more time. He pulled Ryan by the back of his knees, scooting him forward on the couch, and then sunk his mouth down, down around him, the weight of it filling up his throat. Ryan cried out and jerked forward, his hips bucking before he stilled them.</p><p>“Shit, shit, I’m sorry-“ </p><p>Shane ignored him, <em>didn’t go to college for nothing</em>, pushing his mouth down further, sucking hard and looking up at Ryan, who’s eyes were fixed on him with the kind of hunger that made Shane feel hot all over. And, <em>hello</em>, his boner may have been attempting a come-back.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane got to work, sliding his mouth up and down Ryan’s length, humming, groaning at the weight of it, trying to get across just how much he wanted it. Ryan’s hand dug into his shoulder and Shane felt a hot flush all over when Ryan let out one of those whines again, his hips locked still in an effort not to move. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan put a hand under Shane’s chin just as he was swirling his tongue around the head, tilting it up to look at Ryan. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I’m gonna come,” he bit out, rubbing his thumb along Shane’s cheekbone, his chest jerking with his rapid breathing. Shane nodded, sinking back down until Ryan was pushing into his throat, loving the burn of it. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Shane, Shane, I’m gonna, <em>fuck</em>-“ </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>That was it. Shane felt hot spurts of liquid hit the back of his throat as he sucked Ryan through it, Ryan’s whole body locked up tight in ecstasy, his head thrown back and his mouth red red red.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>~~~~</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane was resting his head on Ryan’s thigh when Ryan came down a few seconds later. His breathing was harsh and his hands clutched at Shane’s, linking their fingers together as Ryan regained respiratory control.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Has anyone ever told you that your thigh makes a wonderful pillow?” </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan snorted, grinning down at Shane, who nuzzled into his bare thigh like it wasn’t a weird thing to do after sex.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Are you developing an obsession? You seemed to be pretty handsy down there.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane looked momentarily guilty, confirming Ryan’s suspicions, before he turned and poked the other thigh with their linked hands.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“We’re on a first name basis now.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan tugged at Shane’s arms, ignoring him, pulling him up until they were both standing. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Me and my thighs need to get cleaned up.” Ryan said, sparing a look down at his chest that was still covered in Shane’s spunk. Shane grinned at his chest, looking overall too pleased with himself for Ryan’s liking.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Feel free to shower,” Shane said once he had appraised his modern art work on Ryan’s torso. “I’ll go get the bed ready.” </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane pressed a kiss to Ryan’s temple and turned to go before freezing. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“That is, if you want to sleep in the same bed. I realise that’s very forward and I just kinda assumed, and we all know what assuming does to a person, so uh, don’t feel any pressure to-“ Shane was cut off by Ryan throwing one of their discarded shirts at his head. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Of course I want to sleep in the same bed, dipshit.” Ryan said, rolling his eyes before turning and walking down the hall and into the bathroom. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane just kinda stood there, a shirt hanging oddly off his shoulder, and shook his head. He’d signed up for the sass in this relationship too, apparently. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He walked to his bedroom and considered how on earth Ryan would fit into it with him. It wasn’t like his room was small, but Ryan carried with him the weight of a relationship, something that Shane hadn’t had in his life since they started the show years ago. In some really cheesy, disgusting way, it had always been Ryan, he supposed. That’s what he had been waiting for. Gross.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>He stripped the bed of sheets, putting new ones on for Ryan’s sake. He would have to deal with the clothes and books on the floor though. Shane didn’t want to impress him that much.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan walked in wearing a towel just as Shane was putting the last pillowcase on, and it felt so goddamn domestic that Shane felt a little like buying them matching aprons. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“<em>That is stupendously weird.</em>” His brain told him. Shane was inclined to agree.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Do you have anything I can sleep in?” Ryan asked. He looked a little sheepish.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane raised his eyebrows, and Ryan flushed. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Shut up.” He muttered. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane grinned and walked over to his dresser, wordlessly tossing Ryan an old BFU shirt.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan dropped his towel unceremoniously and Shane did his best not to trip on the carpet. He wondered if he’d ever get used to that, a naked Ryan Bergara in his bedroom.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan had summoned some underwear out of nowhere, and as soon as he shrugged on Shane’s shirt he flopped down onto the bed, making a happy noise as he shifted around on his front. It gave Shane a fantastic view of Ryan’s ass, and listen, he was a simple man of simple pleasures, but the urge to smack a hand down onto Ryan’s booty was worryingly difficult to ignore.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It took Shane a second to notice Ryan looking at him over his shoulder. Shane gaze snapped up, but he’d been caught red-handed. Or eyes-on-ass handed. Whatever.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>There was a beat of silence before Ryan grinned. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Maybe in the morning, big guy.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane slid into bed, ignoring the thoughts that that suggestion wanted to push into his head, and grabbed Ryan’s hand. Ryan shuffled over, slinging an arm over Shane’s chest, and Shane turned his head so they were facing each other. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“You ready to sleep?” Shane asked, his voice quiet and slow.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan nodded, his eyes closed, and shuffled a little closer. Shane distinctly felt that it should be illegal to look that lovely, and threw an arm back at the wall behind the bed, scraping around until he found the light switch without having to look. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Night, Ryan.” </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Night, Shane.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane flicked the switch, plunging them into darkness. Ryan pulled the covers up and around them, and settled back into his position, a heavy arm flung over Shane. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“This was the best day.” Ryan whispered, his voice slow and thick with sleep.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I thought so too.” Shane whispered back, settling down into the sheets and stroking a slow thumb across Ryan’s knuckles where their hands were linked. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>There wasn’t much else to say. A strong sense of contentment washed over Shane, a feeling that felt like complete, that felt like right, that felt like I love you. It was too soon for any of that, Shane knew, his eyes getting heavy in the darkness, listening to Ryan’s steady breathing. But it would come. He felt sure of it.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>~~~~</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>The next morning was a real hum-dinger of an awkward situation for Ryan. He’d woken up with his heart beating a little faster as he registered that he and Shane were in the same bed, pressed together in sleep, and it hadn’t all been a particularly cruel figment of his imagination. That wasn’t the awkward part, though.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>The awkward part was that Ryan was rocking possibly the most ridiculous morning chub he’d ever seen, and in the light coming in through the gap in Shane’s curtains, Ryan could see that he was pressed all up on Shane’s body, on his side whilst Shane was on his back. And the worst part? </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane was still asleep.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan didn’t know what to do. He was so achingly aware of where his dick was pressed against Shane’s hip, and he sternly told himself that he was not going to rub a quick one out in Shane’s bathroom and pretend it never happened. He reminded himself that he was allowed this now. That he could wake up with Shane, in bed together, with morning wood, and it wasn’t that weird.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It was so different from all those investigations where they’d slept in the same bed, and Ryan had woken up pressed to Shane like this. He’d always roll away, ignoring as Shane reached for him in sleep, and slip into the bathroom, jerking himself over the sink and biting his lip in an effort to keep quiet. Shane was often awake when he padded back to bed afterwards, and Ryan had always wondered if Shane looked at Ryan’s wide eyes and flushed, guilty face, and guessed what he’d done.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane stirred next to him, his body shifting closer to Ryan’s, and whilst Ryan was privately endeared that Shane gravitated to him in his sleep, it really wasn’t helping the whole boner situation.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>God, Ryan didn’t want to be a creep, and sleeping people couldn’t consent, which is why Ryan kept his hips almost comically still as Shane stirred again, flinging an arm over Ryan’s waist. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“You’re killing me,” Ryan muttered to Shane’s sleeping face, a few inches from his own. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Hmm?” Shane asked, still mostly asleep, but clearly having heard Ryan. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan could only sigh and resign himself to his fate as Shane woke up further, reaching his long arms above his head and stretching, knocking them into the wall and pushing Shane’s hip yet further into Ryan’s dick region. It was utterly distracting, although Ryan’s dick didn’t seem to have any pretensions about shamelessly twitching against Shane’s hip and sending a sharp spark of pleasure through Ryan’s stomach. Ryan briefly wondered if it was possible to slut-shame your own penis before Shane blinked his eyes open. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Hey,” he murmured, smiling sleepily at Ryan. It was one of the loveliest things Ryan had ever seen, and he would really appreciate it if his dick would stop ruining the moment.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Hey,” Ryan said, shifting their foreheads together on the pillow. Shane smiled and reached out, grabbing the back of Ryan’s thigh and pulling his leg up and over his hips. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>It was clearly a move meant to bring them closer together in their cuddling, but Ryan couldn’t help but screw his eyes shut as his dick dragged along Shane’s body, trapped between his leg and Shane. It was truly unfair, they’d had sex less than twelve hours ago, could his dick not just calm down for a minute?</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane was about to ask what was wrong, why Ryan looked so guilty, and then he felt it. The hard line of Ryan’s cock, pressed intimately along his hip. Shane felt a little dizzy with the realisation, what felt like all the blood in his body rushing to his dick to turn his own morning half-chub into a full-blown capital-p Problem.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Well, good morning to you too, captain.” Shane said, wiggling his hips a little, pressing his fingers a little further into Ryan’s thigh.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Stop it,” Ryan groaned, his face tucked into Shane’s neck as Shane grinned.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“No really, I’m flattered.” Shane said, shifting his hips a little. “Were you planning on doing anything about it?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan stiffened next to Shane. “No,” He said, lying through his teeth.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane studied him a little, his voicing sounding soft when he asked “Ryan, are you really embarrassed?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan looked at him for a second and then nodded, feeling the way Shane’s hand tightened slightly on his leg, his fingers starting to move in small circles, just brushing the skin.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>God, how could something so small feel like so much?</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“There’s no need for embarrassment here.” Shane said continuing his maddening circles on Ryan’s thigh. “You think I’m gonna be offended because, what? Because you find me attractive and it shows?”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan shook his head, shifting his thigh to get at more of Shane’s touch. Shane snaked his other arm through the gap between Ryan’s neck and the pillow, his fingers coming to rest against Ryan’s back and tracing the same concentric circles on Ryan’s skin. It was good, so good to be touched like that, lovingly, with purpose. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“It’s just that we haven’t even been on our first date yet, and I know we’ve known each other for so long, but I want to do right by you. And I’ve never had a problem restraining myself before and telling myself to wait, but God, Shane-“ Ryan shifted, his dick dragging against Shane again, that same fiery arousal from last night winding its way into Ryan’s gut. “I want it so bad, there’s so much to do, so much that I-“ Ryan’s voice cracked “- that I think you could do to me, and that I want to do to you.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane eyes were trained on his face, his mouth a little open, and his fingers against Ryan’s skin were still drawing out their measured circles. Ryan took a deep breath, figuring he might as well go for broke here.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I know it’s stupid, but I want to romance the shit out of you, and I also want to get real freaky real fast, and I don’t know what to do.” He spoke quickly, resisting the urge to hide in the crook of Shane’s neck after. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane took a deep, measured breath and blew it out, turning his eyes to the ceiling briefly. He kept his eyes on the ceiling when he spoke.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“You really just have no idea how tempting you are, do you?” Shane smiled, his fingers spasming a little, pressing deeper into Ryan’s skin for a brief moment before returning to their circles. He turned to look at Ryan.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“It’s hard to rationalise why we should wait. I want to do this right too, I want to wine and dine you properly, but I feel like we’ve barely scratched the surface of what we could do to each other and I just want to keep going.” Shane swallowed, eyes flicking down to Ryan’s lips. “It’s particularly difficult to wake up in the same bed, mutually, you know,<em> thirsty</em>, and convince myself I should say no.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan nodded, swallowing, one of his hands sliding across Shane’s chest to trace a slow line from collar bone to belly button and back up.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“That being said,” Shane’s voice wavering a little, “We’re moving at your pace here. Please don’t be embarrassed about wanting to be with me, because I assure you the feeling is mutual.” </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan nodded, and he recognised that they were in dangerous territory, wrapped around one another in bed, feeling each other up like teenagers in the back of a pickup truck. Shane’s fingers, drawing those maddening circles on his skin, were starting to feel directly connected to the aching arousal in Ryan’s gut, and it was enough to get him shifting, moving his hips minutely to drag his dick against Shane’s side. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane turned slightly, capturing Ryan’s mouth in a kiss that catapulted his arousal into the stratosphere. Ryan was just about ready to throw caution to the wind, tradition be damned, when Shane brought a hand up to Ryan’s chest and shoved a little, putting a few inches of space between them. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane was breathing a little heavy, his eyes on Ryan, as he shook his head. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“If you can’t make up your mind about whether you want to go traditional or unorthodox, we’ll go traditional. That way, we have to wait a little longer, but we can be certain when we’ve gone on our date that it’s what you want.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan looked at him, incredulous. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“But I’m ready now! Fuck tradition, I want- I want-” </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane closed his eyes, shaking his head a little and sitting up. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“You’re not gonna make this easy on me, are you?” Shane asked, a fond smile catching his face, his fingers rubbing at his brow.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan couldn’t believe that Shane was cock-blocking him on his own behalf, as if Ryan was some fainting flower that couldn’t figure out what he wanted.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Dude, I’ve made up my mind. I’m ready, all aboard the dick-train, you’re really gonna deprive me on account of my feelings?” Ryan kicked the covers off himself, his dick straining against the dark fabric of his underwear, striking in the early morning light.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane’s eyes tracked down Ryan’s body like a physical caress, and Ryan squirmed a little under the attention, wanting Shane’s hands, his mouth. Before he knew it, Shane was on him, and Ryan thought he might have actually won him over before he registered his hands being pulled up above his head and pressed into the pillow, Shane’s fingers linked with his own, restraining them.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane was hovering above his body, hips between Ryan’s thighs as he leaned forward and Ryan’s view was taken up by Shane’s face. He looked amused, a little wrecked, mouth-wateringly attractive, and Ryan sucked in a breath as the next wave of arousal crashed through his body. Maybe he had a thing for Shane pulling his hands above his head like that.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I’m trying to do this right, because we both want to have at least one proper date together before we start fully on the sexual side of this relationship.” </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane squeezed Ryan’s hands tighter, and Ryan spread his thighs further apart, trying to get Shane as close as possible. <em>God, it was like- it was like being fucked, this position, </em>Ryan realised. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p><em>This is what it would be like if Shane-</em> he cut that thought off at the root, because it looked like Shane was about to say something important and Ryan really needed to get his thoughts away from his dick.</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I am trying to do this for the both of us, and you throwing your body around like some kind of Shakespearean temptress is <em>not helping.</em>”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan grinned, and Shane sighed, unable to control his own smile. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“Sorry, but no more sex until after the date. You wanted tradition, we’re doing tradition.” </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Ryan felt the absurd need to pout, and stopped himself at the last second, because he was a fully grown man and had never pouted at anyone in his life before, let alone Shane. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“<em>God, am I- what do you call it? Bratty? Am I bratty?</em>” Ryan thought as he stared up at Shane, who was smiling so fondly down at him that his heart ached a little. </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>“I’ll try not to tempt you too much.” Ryan conceded, shifting a little in Shane’s grip. “But I can still kiss you, right?” </p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>Shane grinned, dipping his head and pressing a chaste kiss to Ryan’s lips. “Hell yeah.”</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This ain’t the end of the story! If people like it, I have a lot more to post.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, I received a really positive response to this story, so here’s some more of it! Thank you to everyone who was really kind and supportive - comments are always welcome! </p><p>Here’s a whole chapter that, if I’d titled it, I would have called “The Boys Get A Case Of The Blue Balls”.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The whole of Saturday stretched out in front of them, and Shane was- well. What was a good way to put this? </p><p>Shane felt about to ready to shove Ryan down on any vaguely flat surface and do unspeakable things to him, but there wasn’t really a smooth way to say that without coming off desperate. Shane <em>was</em> desperate, he knew that very well, but there was no need for Ryan to know that. Insisting that they wait that morning had been stupendously difficult with Ryan stretched out beneath him, making room for him between parted thighs, looking so hungry for it that Shane had gone a little buck wild. </p><p>They’d gotten up eventually, Ryan coaxing Shane out of bed with the promise of food. It was all - it was <em>suspiciously</em> lovely, to Shane. To feel so comfortable, to have it feel normal to go grocery shopping together was, well. Shane was trying to hide the fact that emotionally, Ryan was turning him into a pile of goo.</p><p>Ryan bought the groceries, insisting that it made sense because they were using Shane’s stuff to cook. Shane allowed it, internally laughing at Ryan’s determination to do things traditionally and wanting to buy him food and, well, it was really sweet. Ryan shouldering him out the way when it came time to pay for the groceries was also a big factor as to why Shane allowed it to happen. </p><p>They cooked, Ryan insisting on drinking some disgusting protein shake he’d picked up with the groceries. If that was the price of godlike biceps, Shane would pass, thank you very much. </p><p>At around eleven, once they’d cleared everything up, Ryan gathered up his stuff into his bag and pressed a kiss to Shane’s cheek next to the front door. </p><p>“I’m gonna go home, I have some errands to run and stuff.” </p><p>Shane nodded, an innocuous arm around Ryan’s waist. </p><p>“I’ll pick you up at seven. I’ve booked a place to eat.” </p><p>Ryan smiled and leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Shane’s mouth. And God, Shane was a reasonable guy, but the thought of him leaving made him, well- he didn’t want Ryan to go. Shane deepened the kiss a little, his hand finding its way to Ryan’s hip, and after a few seconds he heard the distinct sound of Ryan dropping his bag to the floor, his arms coming up around Shane’s shoulders.</p><p>It was an afterthought to back Ryan up against his front door, to press him against it as Ryan’s tongue swept around his mouth. Ryan’s hips were tilting up, pressing hard against Shane, and it was instinctive to let his hand drift from Ryan’s hips down to his ass, grabbing a good handful and hearing Ryan’s breath catch in his throat.</p><p>Ryan bit his bottom lip, tugging at it with his teeth as he pulled Shane further in by the shoulders, standing up on his toes to get a better angle at his mouth. <em>Maybe he didn’t need to leave after all, ever, not if Shane kept kissing him like this.</em></p><p>The wood of Shane’s front door creaked ominously against Ryan’s back as he was pressed harder into it. Ryan was seriously considering saying fuck it and lifting a leg up around Shane’s hip like the cockslut he apparently was becoming, and <em>okay</em>, it was time to stop. </p><p>Ryan pulled away, one hand on the side of Shane’s face. He looked a little dazed, his gaze moving down Ryan’s body, his hand tightening a little on his ass.</p><p>“Maybe its a good thing you’re leaving.” Shane muttered, blowing out a breath. Ryan snorted, and they disentangled themselves from one another, Ryan picking up his bag and holding it in front of his crotch in an effort to conceal the astoundingly obvious boner he was sporting. </p><p>Shane shook his head like he was clearing his thoughts, and opened the front door. The LA sunshine rushed in, bathing them both in heat. </p><p>“I’ll see you at seven.” Shane offered, doing his best to resist the urge to pull Ryan back inside and have his wicked way with him, right up against the front door. </p><p>“Yeah,” Ryan said, his eyes roaming over Shane’s face. They stood there for a few seconds before Ryan seemed to snap back to attention and hopped out of the door. Shane watched him walk down the steps until he was out of sight. He shut the door, taking a deep breath as he stared into his apartment that seemed so different now, so full of the potential for laughter, for happiness, so imbued with Ryan’s presence that it felt wrong for him to not be there. </p><p>“<em>Keep it together, Madej.</em>” He warned himself, for the second time in twenty-four hours.</p><p>~~~~</p><p>Ryan felt a little like he could scream. His apartment looked exactly the same to him as it was when he’d left it the previous morning, and Ryan couldn’t help but feel like it should look different. His life had changed, everything had changed in the last day and a half, and he thought that everything around him would change as a result. Ryan distantly wondered why he felt less at home here, in his own apartment, than he had at Shane’s.</p><p>Ryan shook off the odd feeling and dumped his stuff, shrugging off his shirt that smelled so much like Shane as he walked to his bedroom.  He stopped in the doorway, looking down at the shirt he’d been about to Kobe into his washing hamper. A wave of emotion hit his chest as he brought the shirt to his nose and breathed in the smell, his own sweat and deodorant and cologne, but Shane too, like mellow sandalwood and sharp sweetness. </p><p>“I sound like a candle advertisement.” Ryan muttered, breathing in another lungful. He shrugged the shirt back on despite himself, ignoring the haughty voice in his brain that laughed at him, and tried as best he could to get on with his day.</p><p>Two hours later it was only 1:30pm and Ryan felt like he could crawl out of his own skin. He’d completed his errands in an hour and was sitting at home, one leg bouncing restlessly as he tried to ignore the low-level arousal itching at his skin. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, couldn’t stop obsessing over what he and Shane would do together later, couldn’t stop chasing the phantom touch of Shane’s hands across his thighs. </p><p>“I need to get it together,” he muttered, nothing on his phone or the TV holding his attention long enough to get him to stop thinking about it. The urge to just push his jeans down and jerk off was jumping around in Ryan’s brain, flitting between images of Ryan’s hand on Shane’s dick, Shane’s face when he came, Shane’s mouth wrapped around his dick, eyes burning up into Ryan’s. Ryan’s hands twitched.</p><p>Would Shane want him on his knees, mouth wrapped around his cock, Ryan doing his best not to gag? Would Shane open him up with those long fingers, or would he make Ryan do it himself? </p><p>Ryan let out a small breath, suddenly wanting so intently to just get in the shower and finger himself open that he stood up from the couch before stopping himself. He knew it was better to wait, that they’d made the right choice, but Ryan was so keyed up that he felt like his heart was too big for his chest, and his traitorous dick was half-mast in his jeans. He shook his head, scrubbing a hand over his face and walking into his bedroom, picking up his gym bag and car keys and fleeing out the door. </p><p>~~~~</p><p>Ryan ran 10k on the running machine, so determined to get out the excess energy humming under his skin that he got a new PB. When his legs felt like they were about to give out, he went to the pull-up bars, pulling himself up over and over until his arms were shaking painfully with the exertion. The sweat dripping down over his body only spurred him on, pushing himself to do five more, his biceps screaming as he heaved up to the bar, again, again, only just making the fifth as he bit his bottom lip hard enough to hurt and collapsed down to the floor, just managing to stay on his feet.</p><p>He sat down heavily on the bench, lungs burning as he breathed quickly in and out. </p><p>“<em>Not enough,</em>” he thought, that restless itch still under his skin. </p><p>He switched to the rowing machines, pulling the chain harder and harder and putting as much power into his legs as possible. He managed thirty-five minutes before his body truly gave out, and he let go of the chain, not even having the energy to care as it smacked loudly back against the machine.</p><p>He stood up, swaying a little. The restless arousal had relented for now, and Ryan felt the comfort of physical exhaustion weighing down his limbs like lead. He walked slowly to the changing rooms, cleaning himself mechanically in the too-small shower, ignoring the ache in his limbs.</p><p>~~~~ </p><p>Shane had never been good at expressing emotion. He wanted to make himself understood to Ryan, wanted to be clear that he was serious and happy and had loved their time together. He considered texting Ryan approximately eleven times a minute, but everything he typed out sounded cheesy and insincere, so it took him a good three and a half hours to come up with:</p><p><strong>Me: </strong>did you get your errands done?</p><p>Shane prided himself on his creativity, but even he had to admit that it was weak. Around ten minutes later Ryan responded:</p><p><strong>Ryan:</strong> yeah, at the gym atm</p><p>Thinking about Ryan all sweaty, muscles on muscles on muscles, was not a good path for Shane’s brain to go down if he planned to be productive. He settled on humour as a substitute, a common tactic patented by him:</p><p><strong>Me:</strong> how’re the gains going? getting absolutely swole? putting that sweet, sweet protein to good use?</p><p>Ryan’s typing bubble appeared, disappeared and reappeared several times until, a few minutes later, Shane received:</p><p><strong>Ryan:</strong>ur weird</p><p>A few seconds later:</p><p><strong>Ryan:</strong> but yes</p><p>And then almost immediately after:</p><p><strong>Ryan:</strong> may have pushed a bit too far. my back hurts</p><p>Shane grinned, familiar with Ryan groaning about his aches and pains from being what he called a “pro-athlete”. He sent:</p><p><strong>Me:</strong> don’t be getting crippled on me, we have a date tonight</p><p>Not three seconds later he received:</p><p><strong>Ryan:</strong> don’t talk 2 me about getting crippled, old man</p><p>Shane huffed out a breath of laughter.</p><p><strong>Me:</strong> i’m four years older than you, last time i checked</p><p><strong>Ryan:</strong> ur just super old. really old. what was the jurassic era like?</p><p><strong>Me:</strong> this explains why you’re so short!! you haven’t finished puberty and evidently haven’t learned about dinosaurs at school yet</p><p><strong>Ryan:</strong> cheap shot</p><p><strong>Me:</strong> it suits the audience</p><p>Ryan sent back a row of the middle finger emojis. Talk about cheap shots.</p><p>~~~~~</p><p>After several hours of scrolling on Twitter, Facebook and Gramtown whilst studiously ignoring the rabid requests for the return of the Hot Daga, Shane felt about ready to jump out of his skin. It was barely five, but he jumped in the shower anyway, internally mocking himself for getting ready for their date a full two hours before like some kind of lovesick teenager before prom. <em>Maybe,</em> Shane conceded,<em> the analogy wasn’t too far off.</em></p><p>He kept his hands away from his dick as best he could, valiantly trying to ignore the low-level arousal simmering under his skin at the memories of how Ryan had looked, wide, dark eyes, a hungry gasp, his wet, wet mouth- </p><p>Shane clenched his fingers into a fist at his side, his wet skin squeaking over itself. He scrubbed the other hand over his face, shaking his head as he walked quick-sharp out of the shower to prevent his psyche from showing him any more earth-shattering images of Ryan.</p><p>“This is getting ridiculous.” He muttered as he toweled himself dry, the steam in the bathroom clouding the glasses he had left on the counter. It was truly sickening, how much he - Shane shuddered at the word - <em>yearned</em> for Ryan. He wanted him back in his apartment, back in his bed, back in his arms.</p><p>He looked at himself in the mirror, and although he could barely see himself for the steam, he looked - brighter. More alive.</p><p>“Zawiłości miłości” He muttered. A phrase he’d often heard his very Polish grandmother say when he’d been lovesick as a teenager. He had always told her it was some girl from school and she would smile knowingly. At the time it had felt like he’d fooled her, but looking back on it now he thinks that she may have known that he was in love with the football jock, not the prom queen.</p><p>He ruffled his hair with the towel and went to check the clock in his living room.</p><p>5:23pm</p><p>“Fuck.” he hissed, flopping wet hair and all onto the sofa. It was going to be a long hour and thirty seven minutes. </p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>Ryan, to his credit, had stopped aching for the time to pass faster because he was aching <em>everywhere fucking else.</em></p><p>“Really did push myself too hard.” He groaned as he bent over to do up his shoelaces, pain lancing through his back muscles as he stretched. How the fuck was he meant to blow Shane’s dick off tonight with his mad sex skills if he was walking like an old man? </p><p>He did some stretches valiantly, cursing as a shot of pain bolted through his lower back when he bent. </p><p>He huffed out a breath. It wasn’t too bad when he was sitting down, so dinner should be fine. Everything after though - <em> hmm.</em> Ryan, like a truly well-adjusted adult, decided to ignore that problem in the hopes that it would go away.</p><p>At 6:57pm, just as Ryan was frantically trying to adjust his hair, the doorbell rang. If Ryan practically sprinted across his apartment to open the door, well, that was neither here nor there.</p><p>Shane was standing there in a pair of dark red chinos, the colour of Chateau Briand, and a plain white button down with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow. His top button was undone, and his clean black shoes were striking against the ratty doormat outside Ryan’s apartment.</p><p>Ryan felt a little swoop in his stomach at the sight of him, and couldn’t help his grin. </p><p>“You look good.” Ryan offered quietly, tipping forward a little into Shane’s space. </p><p>Shane leaned forward, his eyes lowering and scanning down Ryan’s body. Even though he was fully dressed, Ryan felt that gaze on him like a brand as it tracked all the way to his feet and slowly back up again.</p><p>“Not so bad yourself.” Shane muttered, clearing his throat as he leaned further in, one large hand wrapping around the doorframe. </p><p>Ryan had agonised over this outfit. It had plagued him, the decision between his regular date-night dark blue chinos and the tight grey trousers that exposed a little ankle and clung to him like a second skin. He’d gone with the grey, and was starting to feel like that had been the right decision as Shane audibly swallowed and traced a fingertip along his waistline.</p><p>“You look positively lovely.” Shane said, and although he was trying to put on a mocking voice to relieve some of the tension, it was a poor façade.</p><p>“Thank you.” Ryan muttered, deciding he couldn’t take it anymore and swaying up into Shane’s space to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. Shane curved a hand round Ryan’s waist and pulled him in a little further, catching his mouth in a kiss that was shockingly tender. </p><p>Ryan went to stretch his arms around Shane’s neck, fully prepared to scandalise his neighbours right on his doorstep, when the pain from his workout shot through his lower back again and he crumpled a little, his mouth separating from Shane’s with an annoyed “<em>mmf!</em>”</p><p>“What’s up?” Shane asked, drawing back a little in surprise from where both of his hands had been locked around Ryan’s waist.</p><p>Ryan thunked his forehead into Shane’s collar bone, huffing out an embarrassed laugh.</p><p>“I was working off some, uh, frustration at the gym earlier. Pushed myself too hard. Back hurts.”</p><p>Shane’s laugh rumbled in his chest and Ryan snorted. </p><p>“Can’t believe that you, Ryan Gym-Rat Bergara, broke your precious exercise routine because of me. I told you not to get crippled!” </p><p>“Shut it, old man.” Ryan muttered, hiding his grin. </p><p>Shane gently pushed him back and took ahold of his hand. </p><p>“Let’s get some food, and we’ll see what we can do about your predicament later.”</p><p>Ryan nodded, staring down at their linked hands. <em>God, Shane had big hands</em>. Ryan stared just a fraction too long, and Shane quickly pulled them up, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s knuckles.</p><p>“Later.” He said, leading Ryan out of his doorway.</p><p>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</p><p>“Listen here fucker, those women did not die of poisoning because if that were the case at least one of the autopsies would have-“</p><p>“It’s the 1820’s, Ryan! There wasn’t a whole lot of standardised medical practice, especially not when it came to dead bodies.”</p><p>Ryan’s eyes flickered with mirth, trying to stop a smile from twitching his lips.</p><p>“Were you there?”</p><p>Shane paused, not understanding.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“In the 1820’s, were you there?” </p><p>Shane scoffed.</p><p>“What kinda question is that? Obviously not, I was born in the 80’s.” </p><p>Ryan quirked an odd looking grin.</p><p>“It’s just that when you talk about periods of history, you say things happened like you were there to personally witness them.”</p><p>Shane raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“And your immediate conclusion was not that I have weird conversational quirks, but that I must be, what - an immortal?”</p><p>Ryan grinned.</p><p>“You said it, not me.”</p><p>Shane rolled his eyes. The dinner had been going, well,<em> swimmingly</em> so far, but then they’d started talking about the latest episode. Shane did feel distinctly annoyed by that episode, as looking back at the footage he’d been so caught up in Ryan’s plans and the anticipation of The Box that he’d missed a lot of one-liners and joke opportunities. And, his defence against Ryan’s supernatural obsession had been a little weak, because he ended the episode admitting that he didn’t have a plausible explanation. He blamed it on the mental shock of seeing Ryan in a dress.</p><p>“Those women died of poisoning, or they were stabbed and the autopsies were fakes, my point is that it doesn’t matter how they died because no matter how unlikely my explanations of it are, any rational explanation is more likely than the supernatural!”</p><p>Ryan flung his spoon down into the tiramisu they had been sharing. </p><p>“You couldn’t be more wrong, the whole point of the supernatural is that it fills the explanatory gap when ‘rational’ explanation doesn’t hold up, and this is one of those times. Just because you like to be in control and can’t fathom the thought of an ineffable power above you doesn’t mean that there isn’t one!”</p><p>Shane was taken aback for a moment before he rallied.</p><p>“And just because you’re not satisfied with the actual world and want to escape it in any way you can doesn’t mean that there is any grounding in reality for these fantastical concepts that are just that - concepts.”</p><p>Ryan raised his eyebrows, outrage plain on his face.</p><p>They stared at each other, realising the conversation had got a little out of hand. Ryan’s eyes were burning with irritation. Shane’s hand was clamped tightly around his spoon, the tiramisu forgotten between them. </p><p>The silence stretched on. </p><p>Neither man was willing to be the first to look away, glaring at each other, leaning in close over the table.</p><p>After maybe ten seconds, Ryan’s breath hitched a little in - <em>was that a giggle?</em></p><p>Shane snorted, and suddenly they were all out wheezing in the middle of the restaurant, Ryan having to wipe his eyes. </p><p>“Did you say ‘ineffable’?” Shane asked, voice wobbly from laughter as Ryan tried to control his breathing. He wheezed, and asked </p><p>“Did you say ‘fantastical’?” </p><p>Shane clamped a hand over his mouth to stop himself laughing any more, and signalled to a passing waiter for their bill.</p><p>“Oh God,” Ryan said, leaning his elbows on the table and grinning. “Is this what it’ll always be like?”</p><p>Shane smiled, tentatively picking up Ryan’s hand from the table and holding it in his. </p><p>“I hope so.”</p><p>Ryan’s eyes caught on his, and his stomach swooped again, like a pack of birds had made a nest in there and decided now was time to leave.</p><p>The waiter put the bill fold onto the table, which Ryan immediately grabbed despite Shane’s protests. Ryan quieted his spluttering by saying </p><p>“Why don’t you pay for dinner next time?”</p><p>The concept of ‘next time’ was enough for Shane to feel pacified.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I’m so nervous about the next chapter lmao</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is another one with a lot of sex in it, so again, click off and go to the next chapter if that’s not your deal. I’ve tried to separate the story with explicit sections contained so that people who aren’t into it can still enjoy the story. Yeet.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The door of Ryan’s apartment rattled on its hinges, likely because Shane’s back was pressed so hard into it that the wood pattern was imprinting itself into his skin.</p>
<p>They were pressed together like dominoes, Shane’s hands cupping the back of Ryan’s neck and the side of his ribcage, Ryan’s fingers clamped onto his hip bones as he trapped Shane against his door and kissed the ever-living daylights out of him.</p>
<p>Shane’s mouth was warm and tasted like wine when Ryan licked past the seam of his lips, brushing his tongue against the other man’s in reverent remembrance of their previous encounter.</p>
<p>“You’re so gorgeous.” Shane mumbled between kisses, drawing in a sharp breath when Ryan worked a thigh between his, grinding down into the pressure.</p>
<p>Ryan thanked him by dragging his hands up Shane’s chest, the tips of his fingers brushing the collar bones and hooking into his white shirt, pulling the next button undone. </p>
<p>Ryan felt a little drunk on the sensation, even though they’d only had a glass of wine each, as he tipped forward and sucked at the exposed patch of Shane’s collarbone. He heard the distinct sound of Shane’s skull <em>thunking</em> back against the door and a quiet “Fuck.” </p>
<p>Ryan wound a hand around the nape of Shane’s neck, his thumb pushing into the wet red of Shane’s bottom lip and tracing it as he continued his work on Shane’s collarbones. The pain in his lower back was distracting, but not distracting enough to stop him from surging back up to Shane’s mouth, replacing his thumb with with his lips and revelling in the greedy kisses Shane gave.</p>
<p>Shane was two seconds away from divesting Ryan of his shirt before the cool night air reminded him that they were on the <em>outside</em> of Ryan’s front door, not the inside. He blamed Ryan entirely, for daring to smile at him so beautifully that Shane just <em>had</em> to kiss him right then. He couldn’t recall if Ryan had even gotten his keys out.</p>
<p>Shane snaked a hand up Ryan’s back, sliding his fingers into his hair and <em>pulling</em> sharply, bringing Ryan’s face away from his collar bone that must be so riddled with hickeys at this point that it looked like he’d taken a punch to the throat.</p>
<p>“Oh fuck,” Ryan muttered, his eyes going a little half-lidded and his fingers tightening in Shane’s shirt. Shane made a mental note to add hair-pulling to the ever growing list of what Ryan likes.</p>
<p>“We should probably take this to the other side of the door.” Shane murmured, letting go of Ryan’s hair to shove his hands into Ryan’s back pockets.</p>
<p>Ryan nodded, licking his lips as he fumbled his keys from his pocket, reaching past Shane’s hip to unlock the door. His hands were a little unsteady, and Shane quietly moved around Ryan so he was standing flush to his back as Ryan struggled to put the key into the lock. Shane slid his hands around Ryan’s waist, unable to resist bending down a little to tug at Ryan’s earlobe with his teeth, his hips pressing just above the swell of Ryan’s ass. Ryan cursed again, the key sliding smoothly into the lock and twisting, tumbling them through the front door where he barely managed to get it closed and switch the lights on before Shane was on him again, hooking long fingers into his belt-loops and pulling their bodies back together. Ryan laughed mentally. <em>”Like white on rice.”</em> </p>
<p>He arched his back as obscenely as he could manage, curving himself around Shane and grunting a little at the ever-present pain in his back. </p>
<p>Shane drew back a little, seeming to remember himself. </p>
<p>“I’d forgotten you were suffering from the curse of being a pro-athlete.” He grinned, tracing the tips of his fingers down either side of Ryan’s spine.</p>
<p>“That won’t do, will it?” </p>
<p>Ryan felt a bitter pang of disappointment, words crowding his tongue to tell Shane that he was fine, he’d rather the pain was ten times worse than not get down and dirty with all six foot four of sex demon in front of him, before Shane shushed him and led him by the hand to Ryan’s bedroom. </p>
<p>Ryan fell quiet as Shane closed the door, turning to look at him with an expression that was so close to predatory it had the hairs on Ryan’s neck standing up. Shane undid the buttons on Ryan’s shirt quickly, pushing it off of his shoulders and working on Ryan’s belt and trousers next, shoving them so they pooled around Ryan’s feet and he stepped out of them, wearing nothing but underwear.</p>
<p>“I’ve thought about this all day.” Ryan blurted out, mentally slapping himself for being a talkative idiot and unable to ignore his dick jutting into the fabric of his boxers.</p>
<p>Shane’s smiled, his gaze tracking down his body like a red hot brand before he turned Ryan gently by the shoulders towards the bed and stepped in close behind him. </p>
<p>“Lie down on your front.” Shane whispered, a bolt of satisfaction curling through his gut as Ryan immediately did as he was told.</p>
<p>Shane quickly got rid of his own shirt, eyes raking down Ryan’s body. Ryan curled his arms into the pillow under his head, bringing one leg up to inconspicuously wiggle his ass.</p>
<p>“What’re you gonna do to me, big guy?” Ryan asked, half breathless, half teasing. He heard the <em>thunk</em> of Shane’s belt hitting the floor, and then a smooth hand gliding over his lower back as Shane put one knee onto the bed, the other swinging over Ryan’s body to seat him comfortably on Ryan’s ass. Ryan drew in a sharp breath when he felt the weight of Shane’s cock resting on him, felt the absurd need to laugh, but when Shane tugged Ryan’s underwear down to his knees, suddenly nothing had ever been less funny.</p>
<p>“You’re always so mouthy, aren’t you?” Shane said, his fingers pushing themselves gently into the muscle of Ryan’s lower back, his voice warm and amused. “Wonder what it would take to get you to shut up.” </p>
<p>His fingers dug into Ryan’s spine, and he couldn’t help the noise of appreciation that fell out of his mouth. </p>
<p>“Would I have to gag you, hmm? That would get you to stop mouthing off.” </p>
<p>Ryan moaned again, a rush of arousal blooming through his chest at Shane’s filthy words. He knew Shane didn’t mean it, but the thought of Shane controlling him like that, <em>shutting him up</em>, was enough to get Ryan’s hips rolling, grinding his ass up into Shane’s dick.</p>
<p>Shane pushed harder, working his hands up Ryan’s back and huffing a little at the feeling of Ryan grinding back into him.</p>
<p>“Or maybe I should just get you onto your knees,” Shane said, voice a little rougher, unable to resist working his hips into Ryan’s in time with the grinding. “I’ve thought about you sucking my dick for so long, almost as long as I’ve wanted to get my mouth on you.”</p>
<p>Ryan was melting under his fingers, some of the tension leaving his back, but he was pulled taught with the arousal and whining from his throat every time Shane really dug his fingers in. <em> “Magic hands,”</em> Ryan thought. What he said instead, mumbling, eyes squeezed shut, was</p>
<p>“You have no idea about how many times I’ve pictured sucking your dick in the office, under the desk, you choking me on it and pulling my hair.” </p>
<p>Shane’s fingers stuttered on his back as he said it, hit by a rush of arousal so strong that he felt a little light-headed. </p>
<p>“You need to tell me when your back is feeling better,” Shane said, his fingers still relieving the tension in Ryan’s muscle, “because I feel like my dick is gonna explode if I don’t do something soon.”</p>
<p>“I’m good, I’m good,” Ryan gasped out, his shoulders clenching and unclenching. He was being mostly truthful, the massage had taken away a lot of the pain, but the need to touch Shane was getting too much to bear.</p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Shane asked, his fingers pressing into Ryan’s lower back and his voice gravelly. </p>
<p>“Yes, <em>please</em>.” Ryan said. </p>
<p>Shane followed the path of Ryan’s spine, <em> boldly going where no man has gone before</em>, thumbs pushing into his ass cheeks and massaging, pulling them apart a little, exposing him. Ryan gasped, one arm flying from the pillow to grab hold of Shane’s leg, gripping tight.</p>
<p>“Too much?” Shane asked, stilling his hands.</p>
<p>Ryan shook his head vehemently, pushing his hips up into Shane’s hands. </p>
<p>“It’s good, please, keep going, just wanted to touch you.” </p>
<p>Shane resumed his task, pulling Ryan’s cheeks apart and exposing him to the air, massaging him as he slowly slid downwards, until he was straddling Ryan’s legs and his face was at perfect height to suck a hickey into his ass cheek.</p>
<p>Shane felt white hot arousal curling in his gut and the temptation was just too strong.</p>
<p>“I’m gonna try something okay? If you don’t like it, just tell me to stop.”</p>
<p>Ryan nodded, and exhaled in a way that sounded a lot like “Fuck.” He felt his shoulders tense with the anticipation of knowing what Shane was about to do, and yet the first swipe of Shane’s tongue against his hole was so much sensation that he damn near cried out. He was soft down there, and still a little wet from where he’d prepared himself in the shower. </p>
<p>Shane groaned, a guttural noise, and buried his face into Ryan’s ass, scrubbing his beard along the sensitive skin of his inner thighs and eating him out for all he was worth. There was saliva running down his chin, but Shane couldn’t find it within himself to give a shit because Ryan was making the most wonderful noises, fucked out groans spilling from his mouth as he pushed his ass back, trying to get more. Shane sucked at him, pushing his tongue into where Ryan was burning hot and soft, dragging it over the most sensitive part of him unrelentingly until Ryan was shaking. </p>
<p>He pulled back, feeling half-mad with the pleasure of watching Ryan fall apart and gripped his hips, flipping him over so he was on his back. Ryan’s chest was heaving, his eyes glassed over and his mouth a livid red from biting his lip. His underwear was half tangled around one of his ankles. Shane wasn’t sure he’d ever seen anything more beautiful.</p>
<p>Ryan lifted his arms in invitation, and Shane was powerless to dissent, falling into Ryan’s arms and reaching blindly for the nightstand drawer. He showed Ryan the bottle once he’d found it, and Ryan let out a half-laugh and threw his head back, spreading his thighs even further.</p>
<p>“I might come if you put your fingers in me,” he warned, an idle hand wrapping around Shane’s dick and stroking slowly. Shane shuddered and uncapped the bottle, coating his fingers and tossing it aside. He slid down until he was chest to chest with Ryan, between his thighs, and slipped a hand down between them to stroke gentle circles over Ryan’s hole. </p>
<p>“Oh fuck,” Ryan huffed out, throwing his head back as Shane breached him, just one finger up to the knuckle. Shane blew out a breath, his dick aching at the sight of it. </p>
<p>“You take it so well.” He marvelled, moving his finger slowly in and out, pressing the second at his entrance when Ryan started to squirm. </p>
<p>“You like it when I take it like this?” Ryan asked, eyes piercing into Shane and his voice low, deliberate hands coming up to grip the headboard, using it as leverage to push his hips down. <em>Fuck, dirty talk</em>. Shane wasn’t sure he’d survive.</p>
<p>“You know I fucking do, just look at you, you’re so desperate for it,” Shane grit out, trying not to rut his dick into Ryan’s hipbone and end this too soon. Ryan was a brat, a loud mouthed little <em>brat</em>, and it brought out something in Shane he didn’t often see. Might as well give as good as he got.</p>
<p>“You take my fingers like you’re meant for it, baby. I bet you’re wishing for a second one, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>Ryan ogled at him, a high whine coming out of his throat as he threw his head back, nodding frantically. </p>
<p>“<em>Yes</em>, yes I want another one.” </p>
<p>Shane raised an eyebrow and stopped moving his finger entirely. Ryan immediately whined, trying to move his hips down and protesting with half-words.</p>
<p>“Ask nicely.” Shane said, silently revelling in Ryan’s disbelief like the power-hungry bastard it turns out he was. Ryan could only gasp at the fiery expression on Shane’s face, an expression which told him to <em>obey</em>. Ryan couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever obeyed Shane about anything, but that sure was his own voice saying </p>
<p>“Please let me have two, Shane, please, I want it, want to take your dick.”</p>
<p>Shane shuddered, a smile curving his lips before two fingers breached Ryan and started to fuck him. Ryan felt like crying with the relief of it, the bliss of it, the sharp edge of pain that only seemed to make everything brighter and stronger. </p>
<p>“I’ve got you, baby,” Shane managed to get out, the feeling of his fingers being sucked into Ryan’s body almost too much to bear, with Ryan writhing like that, his hands clamped tight into the slats of the headboard and his legs wrapped around Shane’s waist. Shane leaned down, laying a filthy kiss on Ryan’s lips before working a third finger in. </p>
<p>Shane felt sorry for his neighbours, because Ryan was crying out and yelling like a thing possessed, and Shane couldn’t get enough of it, he fucked Ryan with his fingers mercilessly, watching how he would shake every time he hit his prostate.</p>
<p>Shane was midway through frantically sucking a hickey onto Ryan’s throat when he felt Ryan’s body tense up against him, wound tight like a bowstring. </p>
<p>“Shane, fuck, fuck, gonna come, please don’t stop, please don’t, <em>fuck</em>-“</p>
<p>Shane doubled down, thrusting his fingers in and out of Ryan’s greedy hole and revelling in the tension that all seemed to be building up under Ryan’s skin.</p>
<p>“Touch yourself.” Shane said, and fuck, Ryan must have been waiting for it, because his hand flew from the headboard to his dick, stroking once, twice, thrice, before he was arching off the bed and coming, spunk hitting the headboard behind him and spilling over his chest as the bed shook with the force of it, his mouth caught up in a silent scream.</p>
<p>Shane could only watch, feeling suspended in time as his dick pulsed, dangerously close to coming from the sight alone. He desperately willed his dick not to embarrass him like that. It seemed to stretch on for minutes, and Shane was so mesmerised that he couldn’t have looked away for anything.</p>
<p>Ryan slumped, and the world resumed turning as he scrubbed a hand over his face, his chest heaving. Shane very carefully drew his fingers out of Ryan’s ass, wincing as he shuddered with the overstimulation. </p>
<p>“That was incredible.” Ryan breathed, gripping Shane’s left hand with his.</p>
<p>“It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Shane said hoarsely, his fingers itching to touch his dick. He was kneeling between Ryan’s thighs, and the urge to just come all over his stomach and chest was so strong that he began moving his hand towards his dick before Ryan caught it. </p>
<p>“No, you’ve done all the hard work so far. Let me do this bit.” Ryan sat up, wincing a little at the ache. </p>
<p>He scooted forward on the bed and patted the space he had vacated, indicating that Shane should take his place. Shane felt a little dazed as he fell into position, his head propped up on the pillows as Ryan searched the mussed up covers for the lube.</p>
<p>When he grinned victoriously and held it up, Shane felt his heart leap into his throat. Was Ryan really about to-? The thought felt oddly desirable, even though Shane usually topped. Hey, he was a modern man. Versatility could be his middle name, and he was pretty much down for whatever Ryan wanted to give him because he was, a) desperate and b) desperate for <em>Ryan</em>.</p>
<p>Clocking his expression, Ryan snorted and shook his head. “It’s not for you, big guy, it’s for me. Although I’m not saying it isn’t on my agenda at some point.” Ryan waggled his eyebrows and tossed the lube next to them, falling onto his front between Shane’s legs and pressing wet kisses to his stomach, making the muscles jump.</p>
<p>Something in Shane’s brain appeared to be short-circuiting at the sight of Ryan’s tongue on his body, tantalisingly close to where his dick was standing to attention and looking dark red with blood. Shane shifted, arching his back and grabbing Ryan by the hair, tugging a little and revelling in the way Ryan’s eyes went a little hooded, and the hickeys he was sucking onto Shane’s stomach went a little darker.</p>
<p>Without further preamble, Ryan lifted his head, closed his eyes, and sunk his mouth down around Shane, his dick hitting the back and shoving down into his throat.</p>
<p>“<em>Fuck!</em>”Shane shrieked, so sensitive after ignoring his dick for so long. For a dick-virgin, Ryan appeared to be incredibly skilled as he whined, pulling his mouth up until just his lips were wrapped around the head of Shane’s dick, and then sinking back down until the weight of it filled his throat again.</p>
<p>“Jesus fucking <em>Christ</em>, Ryan, holy shit-“ It was too good, watching Ryan’s saliva drip around his mouth as he tongued the head of Shane’s dick. Shane grabbed ahold of Ryan’s hair and pulled, making some truly embarrassing noises as he helplessly fucked into Ryan’s mouth, just tiny thrusts that felt like fire radiating out into Shane’s body and pushing him towards coming.</p>
<p>Ryan pulled off with a slurp, and before Shane could even protest Ryan was squeezing lube onto his dick, smoothing it down with his hand and then kneeling up, the hand with the extra lube on it disappearing behind him. Shane finally caught on, his hands flying to grip Ryan’s thighs as he let his head hang back, the wet sound of him fingering himself filling the room.</p>
<p>“Ryan, fuck, you’re going to kill me, I don’t know if I can last-“ Ryan cut him off by shuffling forward on his knees, straddling Shane’s hips. His eyes were wild, hungry, and even though he’d already come, his dick was hard again.</p>
<p>“You can last.” Ryan said, leaning down and kissing Shane. Something about the authority in Ryan’s voice, the surety of it, had the chaotic authoritarian part of Shane bristling. </p>
<p>He yanked Ryan’s thighs a little closer, snaking a hand into Ryan’s hair and pulling him back until they were eye to eye. </p>
<p>“Maybe you’ve forgotten who’s in charge here.” Shane said, lifting his chin to bite at Ryan’s lower lip. Ryan shuddered, his eyes glazing a little, but that smirk was still there.</p>
<p>“Is it me?” He asked coyly, dipping down to press a kiss to Shane’s neck. </p>
<p><em>Right</em>. That was quite enough brattiness for one day, Shane thought.</p>
<p>“I’ll fucking show you who it is.” Shane growled out, surprised at the depth of his own voice, and yanked Ryan’s head back by the hair. Ryan let out a shocked gasp, Shane biting his exposed throat none too gently. He heard Ryan’s hand clench hard into the covers by his head. </p>
<p>Shane brought his knees up until his thighs were supporting Ryan’s back from where he was still straddling Shane’s hips. Shane wasted no more time, grabbing his dick with the hand not currently holding Ryan’s hair and lifting his hips, rubbing his cock along the slick cleft of Ryan’s ass. Ryan shuddered, whining as Shane thrusted, the head of his dick catching on Ryan’s hole with every thrust but never quite breaching it. He was merciless, letting go of Ryan’s hair so he could get a hand around one of his ass cheeks, pulling and exposing him to the air as he slid the wet head against Ryan in a cruel parody of fucking him.</p>
<p>They moved in tandem, and Ryan was about two seconds short of flat out begging before Shane mercifully took pity and angled, deliberately catching just the very tip of his dick in Ryan’s hole. Ryan sobbed, something like a garbled “<em>thank you</em>” falling out of his mouth before, without preamble, he shoved himself down onto Shane’s dick.</p>
<p>Shane gasped, almost comically still as he watched almost all of the air exit Ryan’s lungs simultaneously. Ryan could feel it, could feel Shane’s dick hot and huge inside him and it was painful and he was so goddamn full he felt fit to burst but - but <em>fuck</em>. Something in the stretch of it, the raw electricity licking up his spine felt fucking incredible. </p>
<p>One of Shane’s hands was gripping his tightly, and Ryan dimly registered that Shane was exhibiting an immense amount of control to stay still and quiet whilst Ryan acclimatised to his apparently magical dick.</p>
<p>“<em>Ryan</em>.” Shane breathed. It sounded almost like a prayer, because this was as close to a religious experience Shane had ever been, and who was he to say that heaven wasn’t shoving your dick into the person you love? Consensually, of course.</p>
<p>“I’m good, I’m good.” Ryan bit out, oxygen making a rapid return to his lungs as he relaxed a little, wiggling just the tiniest amount and feeling the pressure reverberate through him, his dick beginning to weep again.</p>
<p>He fell forward, groaning at the change of angle, wiggling just a little bit more and pressing a kiss to Shane’s mouth. </p>
<p>“I’m good, you can move, just start slow.” </p>
<p>Shane kissed him again, sliding his tongue into Ryan’s mouth and his hands to Ryan’s hips, pulling out just a little and pushing back in, and <em>oh fuck</em>. Just that little bit felt so good, and Shane was a doomed man. He gritted his teeth against Ryan’s mouth, lifting Ryan’s hips and pushing up into him harder, choking on how good it felt as Ryan whined and scrambled, hooking his hands into the headboard to get better leverage, finding a rhythm with Shane to <em>shove down</em>-</p>
<p>Shane knew he’d hit bullseye when Ryan cried out, his whole body going taut and his hips stuttering. He maintained the angle carefully, shoving up against what he hoped was Ryan’s prostate on every thrust, doing his best not to fall apart under the <em>hotwettight</em> feeling that was threatening to overwhelm him. </p>
<p>“Shane, fuck, it’s so good, you’re gonna make me come again, so good, yeah <em>fuck me</em>-“ Ryan’s voice was tight, jerking with each thrust and it should have sounded like bad porn but <em>God</em>, to Shane it sounded fucking divine. He growled, something truly animalistic in it as he gripped Ryan’s hips and lifted him, up and off, ignoring Ryan’s desperate protests and flipping him into his back.</p>
<p>
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<p>“You want it like this, huh?” Ryan got out, chest heaving and arms coming up to pull Shane in, his legs spreading in a way that was surely designed to ruin Shane’s life. <em>God, that dirty talk.</em></p>
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<p>“Yeah, I do.” Shane said, his voice so deep that it sounded like a bad Vin Diesel impression. He desperately hoped Ryan didn’t laugh at him and positioned himself again, sinking into that tight, wet heat and gasping as Ryan thrashed, pushing his hips down in an effort to get more.</p>
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<p>Aware that he was maybe two minutes and a stiff breeze away from coming, Shane decided to just go for broke. Grabbing hold of Ryan’s hips, he fucked him, well and truly fucked him hard, groaning with the pleasure of it and watching Ryan come apart, almost breaking his spine in two arching off the bed. </p>
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<p>He felt it when Ryan reached down to stroke himself, felt it when he started coming, felt him contract and squeeze, vice-like, heard him cry out some colourful amalgamation of curse words and Shane’s name, and there was nothing Shane could do to stop the tidal wave of fire ripping through him, burning up his stomach through to the top of his scalp, making him call out Ryan’s name so loud his ears rang, unable to stop fucking into Ryan’s body, clenching his eyes shut so that all he could see was red red red.</p>
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<p>It seemed to go on for minutes, Shane’s entire body and soul reverberating like a drum as he vaguely registered that the person groaning and breathing embarrassingly loud was in fact him.</p>
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<p>He cracked an eye open when he felt life return to his body again. Ryan was sprawled out, limbs akimbo and an arm flung over his eyes, chest rising and falling quickly and absolutely <em>covered</em> in his own come. Shane would have laughed, if it wasn’t also the best thing he’d ever seen.</p>
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<p>Shane’s dick was still inside him, and he had the rushing realisation that not only had they not used a condom, they hadn’t even discussed using one. There was something like an <em>oh shit</em> pin trying to drop in Shane’s brain, but it was very hard to care when his whole body felt like he’d just been reanimated via orgasm.</p>
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<p>Shane’s dick was softening, still inside Ryan, and he very carefully drew himself out. He was about to say something, ruin the moment probably, but Ryan, still with an arm over his eyes, blindly yanked him down onto the bed. </p>
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<p>He removed his arm, blinking blearily at Shane and shifting, converging on him like the cuddle machine he was. Shane seemed happy to oblige, and Ryan let out a soft giggle at the feeling of come slipping out of his ass. And then - <em>oh shit.</em></p>
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<p>Ryan’s head snapped up, looking at Shane from his position on his chest. Shane looked back and, seeming to understand the panic, said “Yeah, I just realised too. We really should have talked about using a condom. But I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone since my last test.”</p>
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<p>Ryan visibly relaxed. </p>
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<p>“Yeah, I’m clean too, thank God.”</p>
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<p>They lay there for a moment in relative silence, before Ryan’s shoulders began to shake. Alarmed, Shane tried to look at his face, worried that maybe, <em>oh shit, maybe Ryan regretted the whole thing and their relationship was ruined and oh God what were they gonna-</em></p>
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<p>When Ryan started all out laughing, and Shane realised he wasn’t sobbing into the pillow, he felt the panic leave his chest in one big <em>whoosh</em> and the annoyance set in instead. </p>
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<p>“What the fuck, Ryan, I was getting scared over here.” </p>
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<p>Ryan cackled and rolled on top of Shane, deliberately rubbing the come drying on his chest <em>onto</em> Shane like the rude, disgusting man that he was.</p>
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<p>He pressed a kiss to Shane’s mouth, grinning. </p>
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<p>“You could have gotten me pregnant!” He said, laughing again, and Shane considered it his personal duty to shove him onto the floor.</p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is nerve-wracking to post lmao, it’s v intense but I tried my best lol. There are more chapters after this if people want them. Comments always appreciated and I love feedback x</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! Thank you all for the lovely feedback - here’s a short chapter on their life in the workplace lmao.</p><p>I’m looking for prompts for fics! If you have anything you’d like to see, please comment it below or message me on my tumblr: screweduphearts.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Guys? Guys - oh <em>come on.</em>”</p><p>Ryan and Shane sprang apart guiltily, both trying to act very convincingly like they hadn’t just been caught making out in their shared office at their place of employment on a Monday morning. Ryan’s hand tingled from where he’d had it shoved up the back of Shane’s shirt.</p><p>TJ looked at them both disapprovingly, but there was a gleam of amusement in his eyes that Ryan appreciated. He knew Teej wouldn’t grass on them to the execs.</p><p>“Okay, we all get that you two are madly in love and have finally popped each other’s cherry, but I really don’t want a front row seat to it, guys, come on.”</p><p>Shane coughed, trying to conceal a grin, and Ryan pinched him hard on the arm. </p><p>“You’re right Teej, sorry.” Shane said, snapping back into action and offering a salute. “No smooching in the workplace.”</p><p>“We’ll be professional.” Ryan promised, taking a step away from Shane’s side as if to prove his case.</p><p>TJ nodded, fighting a smile, and walked into the office to go over some B-roll notes with them.</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>“This is so unprofessional.” Ryan breathed, lifting his head to get at Shane’s mouth better. TJ had left the room less than ten minutes ago, but Shane had taken one look at Ryan working on a script and just had to give him a peck on the cheek, which turned into a peck on the lips, which turned into making out in the middle of the office again. <em>Oops.</em></p><p>“This is the last time, I swear.” Shane muttered, wrapping his arms around Ryan’s waist as Ryan lifted his hands, gripping one into Shane’s shirt and the other around his neck, cupping the side of his jaw and dragging his thumb across the stubble. </p><p>Shane’s mouth was warm and wet, and Ryan felt like he couldn’t ever get enough of kissing him, feeling that closeness and desire and passion wrapped up in just the most unreasonably tall body. Ryan arched his back a little, the very tops of Shane’s fingers settling just above his ass, and the next thing he knew he was being shoved back a few steps and the backs of his thighs were pressed to their desk. Their work desk, that they share professionally, at work, where they currently were. <em>Double oops.</em></p><p>Shane pressed forward, slipping his tongue into Ryan’s mouth before bending down to get at his neck, unable to resist kissing it just a little bit. He knew it was wrong, but there was something so carnal, so <em>dirty</em> about doing this at work, on the sacred ground of the Unsolved set. He distantly knew that this was a stupendously bad idea, but that had never stopped him before, and it certainly didn’t stop him now from hooking his hands under Ryan’s <em>(amazing, inspirational, beautiful)</em> thighs and setting him firmly on the desk. </p><p>Ryan seemed to really like being picked up, if him making a cut off noise and spreading his legs so that Shane could stand in the V of his thighs was anything to go by. He dragged Shane’s mouth up from his neck and back to his own, biting down none too gently on Shane’s lower lip. The weekend had been - well. In the least cheesy way possible, Ryan had finally understood over the weekend why people throw their whole beings into relationships and write love songs and poetry and give each other rings. It was too soon for all of that, he was well aware, but <em>God</em>. Something about waking up with the person you really liked was great. The fact that Ryan’s person was Shane was only a testament to the cosmic joke that was his life, but hey, he figured it’d turned out pretty serendipitously. He gave himself a mental high-five for using a Big Boy Word.</p><p>“Shane, Shane, we gotta stop.” Ryan breathed out between kisses, locking his ankles around Shane’s waist so they were pressed together in a way that was incredibly counter-intuitive to what he just said. Hey, he never claimed he wasn’t a hypocrite. </p><p>“I know.” Shane mumbled, pressing short kisses to Ryan’s mouth and hooking his thumbs into Ryan’s belt loops. </p><p>It was clear that Shane wasn’t going to help him out on this one. Sighing, Ryan scooted back on the desk, out of Shane’s grip and away from his treacherous mouth, ignoring Shane’s annoyed grumble and pouty face. </p><p>Ryan twisted himself around, getting off the other side of the desk and turning to wag a finger at Shane whilst surreptitiously adjusting his jeans. </p><p>“We’ve got to stop. Teej is right, the workplace is not for making out, and if we’re gonna make this work with the show we have to actually be professional.”</p><p>Shane sighed, and nodded his head, looking down sheepishly. “I just find it difficult to control myself around you,” he said, scrubbing a hand on the back of his neck and offering Ryan a truly devastating lopsided smile. </p><p>Ryan’s body ached with the need to go over there and kiss it off of him, but he gallantly resisted like the, <em>ahem</em>, true professional that he was.</p><p>“Me too, big guy, but we gotta. We’re professionals, and we need to act like it.” </p><p>Shane nodded again, sitting down in his chair and patting the seat next to him.</p><p>“I promise to keep my hands to myself during the workday.” </p><p>Ryan grinned and walked to his seat. Not five seconds after sitting down, the office door was opening and TJ walked back in. </p><p>“Hey guys, the audio for the next episode is - Guys, <em>come on</em>, what did we <em>just</em> talk about?”</p><p>TJ was looking between the two of them, an appalled expression on his face, and Ryan looked at Shane, ready to claim that nothing had happened and wondering how the <em>fuck</em> TJ knew. However, Shane wasn’t meeting his eyes. He was staring guiltily at Ryan’s neck, which was confusing because - <em>ah</em>.</p><p>Ryan delicately brought a hand up to where he assumed there was a big ass hickey that hadn’t been there the last time TJ was in the room. </p><p>“Think of it like a goodbye kiss!” Shane said, as TJ shook his head witheringly. “We promise it was the last time.”</p><p>“Uh huh.” TJ said, his voice dry roasted as he rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Yeah, we stopped and promised we wouldn’t, Teej.” Ryan added, wincing as TJ turned accusatory eyes on him.</p><p>His tone was amused when he shut the door to walk into the office. </p><p>“Next time I come in here, I’m gonna film myself opening the door, so any shenanigans that you two are up to will be immediately posted to YouTube.” It was certainly a threat, if an amused one, and Ryan nodded. </p><p>“Seems fair. Now, about that audio...”</p><p>~~~~~~</p><p>Months later, during which time they had begun co-creating a company together and celebrated their three-month anniversary, the episode came out.</p><p>It was a good one, falling midway through the newest season of Ryan’s ever-expanding creation. They had been nervous, sure - the footage captured was only two hours before their lives had changed forever, and the way they were looking at each other on screen really was - what was the word? <em>Chemical</em>, Shane supposed. <em>Inevitable</em>. Whatever.</p><p>The response was equal parts horrifying and hilarious, and Ryan and Shane had sat down together with popcorn to read through the comments.</p><p>Some of Shane’s favourites included:</p><p>
  <em>”I don’t understand how anyone believes these two are boning - it’s just a joke, guys!! They’re clearly only doing it to pander to fans and it’s not even that funny” </em>
</p><p>and</p><p><em>“I would give Ryan the what-have-you in that dress, oh my god #boogara4life #ghostsarereal #andsoismythirstforryan”</em>.</p><p>They had to really comb through for Post-mortem questions that weren’t entirely about the two of them fucking or the internet’s general thirst for Ryan in a dress.</p><p>“Are we gonna talk about it?” Shane asked quietly as they sat on his sofa, Ryan’s feet resting on Shane’s lap. It was two nights after the episode had aired, and the Post-mortem was in a few days’ time.</p><p>Ryan looked at him, and considered playing dumb before deciding he was better than that. His initial response was a shrug though. He wasn’t <em>that</em> much better than that.</p><p>When Shane only raised an eyebrow, Ryan sighed. </p><p>“It seems pretty inescapable at this point, man. It seems to be all people are talking about, plus if we actively avoid it it’s only gonna encourage more questions and make us look shifty.” </p><p>Shane nodded. Ryan sighed again.</p><p>“I’m not against telling them, Shane, I’m really not. I’m not ashamed of this. It’s just that - people are gonna ask so many questions. A lot of people will be supportive, a lot will be disdainful, but the creepier among them are gonna ask stuff like <em>“Who tops?”</em> and <em>“Who sucks dick better?”</em> and I just don’t know if I’m ready to fend off those kind of questions.”</p><p>Shane nodded, always so reasonable and calm, and it pissed Ryan off a little. He shifted his feet off of Shane’s lap and sat up.</p><p>“Don’t you mind? Doesn’t it bother you that people are gonna want the intimate details of our sex life?”</p><p>Shane looked at him briefly before sighing and leaning his head back. Ryan instantly felt bad.</p><p>“Don’t take this the wrong way, Ryan, but I never intended to have a relationship in the public eye. It was one of those things that I assumed would never happen to me, like successfully cracking an egg with one hand or scoring the henchest ghost hunter in LA.” </p><p>Ryan smiled despite himself, rolling his eyes at the obvious attempt at flattery that was, pitifully, working. Shane lifted his head to look at him.</p><p>“In all seriousness, I never meant for this and to be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing. Your concerns are all valid - people are gonna ask dumb questions and other people are gonna tell us we’re going to hell and others will be kind and supportive. It will change things a little - people will approach the show knowing we’re together and yeah, we’ll probably have to be a little more careful as to what we show on camera, but- “ </p><p>He cut himself off, scratching at the back of his neck and forcing himself to look Ryan in the eye.</p><p>“I think we should tell them. At least make it clear that we’re together, but also be very clear that the show isn’t changing and isn’t about our relationship and we won’t respond to creepy questions.”</p><p>Ryan nodded, feeling relieved. Everything always felt so simple and easy when Shane was next to him, looking at him determinedly, crooking his mouth into a lopsided smile and resting a gentle hand on his ankle.</p><p>“You’re right. We’ll tell them quickly at the beginning of Post-mortem and go from there.”</p><p>Shane gave him an entirely unnecessary double thumbs-up before pulling out his phone. Ryan frowned.</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>Shane grinned.</p><p>“I’ve got two days to start thinking of puns about us being together to post on my Twitter. I’m gonna crack one mil, baby!” </p><p>Ryan rolled his eyes, flopping dramatically back onto the sofa and shoving at Shane with his foot.</p><p>“I truly hate you.”</p><p>“Aw, come on now,” Shane cooed, poking at Ryan’s foot. “Don’t say that to one half of the Relationship Boys!”</p><p>Ryan lifted his head. “‘Relationship Boys’ is astoundingly bad. It’s not even funny, Jesus Christ.”</p><p>Shane nodded seriously as Ryan flopped his head back again, shaking it vehemently.</p><p>“You’re right,” Shane said, lifting a hand to stroke Ryan’s ankle. “What about the Love Brothers?”</p><p>“Way too incest-y for my tastes.”</p><p>“How about the Homo Homies?”</p><p>“Stop.”</p><p>“The Together Boys?”</p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p>“The Unsolved Lovers has a real nice ring to it.”</p><p>“I am going to eviscerate you slowly and painfully.”</p><p>Shane was laughing, but Ryan was too, and it was all so stupid that he couldn’t help snorting as he hauled himself over to Shane’s side. Shane put his phone down, slotting Ryan’s fingers with his own. </p><p>“We’ll be okay.” He said, pressing a kiss to Ryan’s cheek.</p><p>Ryan smiled, something big blooming in his chest as he squeezed Shane’s hand.</p><p>“I know.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, if you liked it, comments are always appreciated. My tumblr is screweduphearts if you want, but it’s just a bunch of reblogged memes.</p><p>I have a Twitter that I post poetry on. Check it out if you like - @iwritepoemssom1.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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